"Do not seek after what you yearn for,
seek the source of the yearning itself."

WHEN YOU COME TO THE POINT IN LIFE WHERE YOU ARE READY TO INQUIRE directly into the unknown core of your being, you are ripe to awaken from the dream of separation. The direct path of spiritual inquiry begins not with seeking something that you yearn for, but with seeking the seeker, the essential "I."

Who Am I?

In order for inquiry to be powerful and liberating, it needs to be understood that spiritual inquiry is not something to be performed by the mind. Inquiry is a tool that points you directly back to your own being, to experience before the mind. If you read this with your mind only, you are wasting your time. But if you read it with your whole being - if you listen to it, feel it, sense it, resonate with it, and digest it slowly, you may find that it is worthwhile after all.

I am not speaking to who you think you are. I am speaking to You, the Awareness behind the mask called "me." This is written for You.

The Evolutionary Impulse to Be Free
The impulse to be free is an evolutionary spark within consciousness which orginates from beyond the ego. It is an impulse toward the divine, unity, and wholeness. It is an impulse originating from the Truth itself. This impulse to evolve is often co-opted by the ego, which then creates the illusion of the spiritual seeker. This impulse, which is inherently innocent, is something that, in and of itself, has nothing to do with any seeking to attain. It is only when the ego co-opts the impulse and then tries to attain something, that the seeker is born. This impulse, this spark of evolution, becomes almost instantly corrupted by a wanting which gives birth to the seeker.


Q: So then how does one not move away from that impulse, into striving and seeking? How does one stay in the impulse Adya?

A: You stay in the impulse by seeing it as an impulse and not interpreting it as coming from a lack. A sense of lack is the ego's interpretation of the impulse which instantly gives rise to the separate, lost seeker. The impulse is an inner pressure to evolve, to become whole, to be free. It comes from your true nature, your already present divinity.

Q: So the pressure to evolve is interpreted as a lack.

A: Yes. Actually the impulse comes not from a lack, but from the spark of evolution. In that sense it comes from fullness. It comes from that which already is. The impulse to be free is actually coming directly from a freedom that is already starting to break into consciousness. The evolution is going from misunderstanding, which is ignorance, to Wisdom, which is Self realization. The impulse to be free comes from Wisdom.

Q: Is this seeking, which seems to be the natural outpouring of the impulse to be free, predestined and for the very few?

A: The impulse to be free is predestined in the sense that it does not originate in the ego. It is non-personal. When I say that the impulse is non-personal, I mean that it has nothing to do with you as a separate entity. In that sense it could be called predestined. But destiny is just another concept created by the ego, which exists and operates in terms of time. So the only conclusions the ego can make will have to do with time. Both predestined and not predestined don't even exist outside the ego because when you are outside the ego, you are outside of time. The impulse to be free is not for the few. Many are called, few respond.

Q: It seems so arrogant to think that I could be enlightened. I'm afraid to even entertain that possibility for fear that I'll just be disappointed. How could I be worthy of enlightenment?

A: The great good news is that you don't have to be worthy of enlightenment. Nobody's worthy of it. Despite unworthiness, it is given. Enlightenment is too big to be worthy of. Who could be worthy of it? Who is separate from it to be worthy? That's the Love. Worthiness doesn't count. Nothing can ostracize you from the Truth of your Self.

You have to allow yourself to be humbled. That humbling can take place in an instant or over a lifetime; it doesn't matter. Finally, when you become humble enough to come back to being nothing and to discovering your perfect nothingness, you discover everything. When that is discovered, it's important to be true to that and to not shrink away from it by saying, "Not me, no. It couldn't be me."

Enlightenment depends to a large extent on believing that you are born for Freedom in this lifetime, and that it is available now, in this moment. The mind, which creates the past and future, keeps you out of the moment where the Truth of your being can be discovered. In this moment, there is always Freedom and there is always peace. This moment in which you experience Stillness is every moment. Don't let the mind seduce you into the past or future. Stay in the moment, and dare to consider that you can be free now.

"You are not a mistake
or a problem to be solved.
Simply see your Self in its true light."

~Adya

© Adyashanti 2003

The material in this three-part series comes from Adyashanti's book The Impact of Awakening: Excerpts from the Teachings of Adyashanti (Open Gate Sangha).

The impulse to be free comes from outside of the mind, and because of this, it makes the mind feel very insecure. As a result of this insecurity most spiritual seekers strive for a distant spiritual goal. Next month we will continue the exploration of our awakening by facing the "Insecurity" inherent in the impulse to be free.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

A native of Northern California, Adyashanti (which means "primordial peace") is a teacher of growing recognition and popularity in the United States. After a series of transformative spiritual awakenings, he began teaching in 1996, at the request of his Zen teacher with whom he had been studying for 14 years. Adya's teachings have been compared to some of the early Chan (Zen) masters of China as well as teachers of Advaita Vedanta in India. He teaches extensively in the San Francisco Bay Area, offering weekly satsangs, frequent intensives, and silent retreats. He also travels to teach in other areas of the United States and Canada. His retreats are very popular and have become known as profoundly liberating events which open the heart of realization and true understanding. To learn more about Adyashanti's work, and to purchase his books and tapes, pleasse visit his website at: www.zen-satsang.org.

If you'd like to stay up-to-date with information about events with Adyashanti and Open Gate Sangha, please send a note with your personal information to: opengate@pobox.com.