A Wolf Among Psychics
A Cruise to Enlightenment
B Y   D O N N A   L Y C A N S

Chapter Four
MONDAY

IT HAD BEEN a very deep and restful sleep, just what I needed, no more and no less, and no hangover from the sleep aid. Cathy woke up and felt the same way. Six hours of deep sleep definitely did the trick.

At breakfast, we were joined by a few more of our group and the subject of sleep, or the lack of it, came up. We were surprised to learn that hardly any of us got any sleep that first night. Todd, Tobias, Ben and Sarah were still having trouble, and got some sleep last night, but not much. Everyone commented on hearing strange noises, but the subject was always changed before I could pursue it with anyone. Cathy explained the help we got from Doug, and then I think both of us felt guilty for not sharing this information with the group last night when it could have helped them. Our only excuse for not thinking of it was tired minds. Honestly, it didn't occur to me that anyone else was having trouble sleeping, and Cathy was surprised, too. Looking back, it seemed quite selfish of us. On the other hand, I'm not sure if some of them would have wanted to take a sleep aid. Oh well, you do the best you can and sometimes you excel, sometimes you fall short, that's life.

When we returned to the room to change clothes for sunbathing, the first thing I noticed was that everything felt slightly different, as if all of our belongings had been touched or handled in a menacing way, especially Cathy's things. Her side of the room was much more disheveled than mine.

"John didn't do this," was the first thing she said.

"No, he didn't," I agreed.

"But who else could have gotten in here?" she countered.

"It depends," I paused, "Somebody who knew what they were doing could have waited for John to come in and clean, leaving the door open long enough for someone to tape down the lock catch. They could have come in afterward without a sea card and removed the tape when they left so no one would suspect a thing."

"How do you know this stuff?" Cathy was stunned.

"My father was a very crafty fellow," I smirked, "Maybe I picked up a thing or two from him."

"And why would anybody like that try to get into our room?" she pressed. "Why would they touch everything, but not take anything?"

"That I don't know, Cathy, but I think we should find out."

"Definitely," she nodded.

For now, however, we were content to bask in the glorious sunshine on deck twelve for a couple of hours before Ben and Sarah's session at one o'clock. As luck would have it, the same lounge chairs we used the day before were available to us in exactly the same place at the rail overlooking the magnificent ocean. To add an extra hint of familiarity, the same lady in the black swimsuit and red hat was seated two chairs over from us once more.

"It's changing color again," Cathy noticed first.

"Another day closer to the Caribbean," I agreed.

"Yes, it is, and we stop in Puerto Rico tonight," she grinned.

"Yes, we do," I grinned back.

It felt like a real piece of heaven to lay back on the top deck of an enormous ship out in the middle of the sea under a pure blue sky with the warm sun shining on my soul. There is no other way to describe it, and even that doesn't do it justice. Everything in that moment of time was pure. Everything was one.

Cathy lifted her head long enough to say, "Can you believe we're really here?"

"Nope, not really."

We turned ourselves over every half hour like good little cooks, and even the face-down view was inspiring. I propped up my chin on my hands and looked out between the bars of the rail at the vastness of the sea around us and its immense power and beauty. Every once in awhile, I could see pockets of teal blue waters, some large and some small, near and far, a sure sign we were getting closer. All my life I had dreamed of seeing the unique blue-green color of the Caribbean Sea, and I was on my way.

We returned to the room to change clothes for Sarah's and Ben's session about the healing technique of Medicine Wheel rejuvenation, which would start in less than an hour. We must have been moving slower than we thought because Cathy and I were the last to arrive, and they were about to begin. We sat down quickly and quietly in the last two chairs of the semicircle of people, near the short side of the long presentation table that was in the center of the room. Our human arch curved around and away from the front of the long side of the table. The table itself was covered with a very large animal skin that had been etched with a woodburning tool to display a multitude of words, symbols of animals and shapes of all sorts, which together formed the general design of a wheel in the center, with dozens more markings radiating in and around it.

Ben and Sarah took turns speaking on the Native American history of Medicine Wheel rejuvenation, and then invited all of us to step up to the table and get a closer look at the decorated skin. It was fascinating. Visually, it was almost too much to absorb all at once. There were multiple symbols, numbers, directions and animals everywhere, and they all had very specific connections to each other, to the skin itself, to Ben and Sarah, and maybe even to us. Wolf, coyote, eagle, hawk, bear, south, east, 11, 7, 12, some lined up on the spokes of the wheel design, and some seemed randomly inked into every available space to the outer edges, but it was as structured and meticulously crafted as a mandala made by a Tibetan monk, and with just as much purpose, as Ben explained.

Of the four-legged animals, he claimed the bear as his totem being and the hawk as his guide, both bearing strength, vision and leadership. The wolf is a predator and a steadfast leader of the hunt, and its cousin, the coyote, is the trickster of the south. Ben spoke briefly about the varieties of earth crawlers, flying beings, rooted beings and ancestor spirits, and the attributes of some of each of them. I was awestruck by the depth of symbolism for all of these markings.

We returned to our seats after a few minutes of gawking in awe, too respectful to touch it, but wanting to all the same. Ben continued talking about the healing properties of this technique and elaborating on the different types and sizes of skins and their purposes. Then he asked for a volunteer. My hand shot up with the others, but he chose Frank's wife, Leah, a very sweet petite blonde woman who always had a look of consternation on her face. Frail looking and thin, she was timid, almost afraid, but with an underlying strength about her. I wondered if she knew it was there. Frank looked on with mild interest, but he appeared mostly aloof. He was an average size man of average height, good-looking, with olive skin and dark hair and eyes. He seemed confident and friendly enough, but difficult to read. Something didn't feel right, but I had no tangible reason for it.

Leah stepped up to the table and stopped where Ben instructed her, facing the table with her back to the majority of the group. However, because Cathy and I were at the far edge of the curve, we were practically facing both of them, giving us a much better view.

Ben draped a shawl-size decorated skin over Leah's shoulders and asked her to hold the excess in her hands in front of her. Much taller of the two, Ben reached outward and down to caress Leah's aura around her head and shoulders, very respectfully and without touching her, occasionally shaking the negative energy out through his fingers and rattling the beads on his wrist in the process.

Then I noticed, or rather felt, a change in the room's energy. Leah's expression looked pained, and I found myself thinking she was deliberately fighting the healing. Ben's forehead broke out in a mild sweat, his beads were shaking more frequently, and then everything suddenly stopped. Ben delicately removed the skin from Leah's shoulders, thanked her, and asked her politely to return to her seat. From what I could gather, there appeared to be some profoundly negative energy coming through Leah. Judging by the expressions on both of their faces, it was dark and painful and powerful, a force of its own, and it was fighting the healing with every ounce of its strength. She exchanged an odd momentary look with her husband and shrunk back in her seat.

What was that? Now it's gone. Did I just imagine seeing Frank's lips curled back and teeth bared like a rabid dog? It had lasted only a split second - I couldn't be sure.

Just then, I noticed Frank's hands were clenched into fists so tight that his knuckles were white, which was a stark contrast to the now calm, but smug, expression on his face. I wondered what that was all about and whether he was merely the jealous type. Had he misunderstood the healing between Ben and Leah and then actually done something to force them apart? What was really going on here? I thought of my reading with Sarah and her warning that someone near me would be in danger. I wondered if she meant someone close to me in spirit, or simply near me in the same room, as Leah was to me now. The answer did not come.

Intuitively, Sarah stepped forward and began to talk about the various types of healing with Medicine Wheel rejuvenation, the cultures of the people who preserve and use them, and the skins which are in fact the Medicine Wheels. Meanwhile, I noticed Ben at the back of the room intently shaking the skin he used on Leah, turning to each of the four directions of the wind, and periodically wiping his brow and taking long drinks of water. From the looks of it, I would have been surprised if they used that skin on anyone else today. Something told me it would need a thorough spiritual cleansing before they could use it again.

Ben came forward to the table and faced the group, indicating to Sarah that he was ready to take his turn. She finished her sentence about animal totems perceived during Medicine Wheel meditation and then turned the floor over to Ben.

"That is an excellent point to bring up, Sarah." He turned to the rest of us and elaborated, "Very often during Medicine Wheel rejuvenation, the receiver, while in a meditative state, will go into a space where their animal spirit might appear to them. This is more common during a full body healing while the person is lying down between two Medicine Wheels, or skins." He paused, then grinned, "Any volunteers?"

My hand shot up again, along with some others. Ben looked in my direction and was about to point to me when Helen spoke up.

"I would like to see Donna do it."

I had no idea whatsoever why she blurted that out, whether it was curiosity or intent, or she heard me wishing for it, but I was glad she did because I really wanted to do this, especially now that I had heard so much about it. I have a deep respect for Native American lore and tradition, as well as their ability to heal, and I wanted to be part of it.

Ben instructed me to leave my windbreaker and sandals at my chair and approach the table, so I walked over there barefoot in my tank top and shorts. Instead of draping a skin over my shoulders, he told me to climb onto the table and lay down face up on the very large skin we had all been studying a short while ago. My head and feet were a few inches shy of the length of the skin. He told me to relax, close my eyes, and breathe deeply and slowly while he gently laid another very large and very decorated skin on top of me up to my neck, with just my head and toes peeking out. I was instantly warm and perfectly comfortable, breathing in and out very slowly and deliberately, as Ben instructed me to relax and close my eyes.

With my eyes closed, I could only vaguely guess that Sarah and Ben were moving around the table and making gestures I could not see. I could hear Ben's voice speaking to me from different directions, describing images he suggested I visualize to achieve a more relaxed state of mind, or meditation. First, his words illustrated a path that led into a gentle forest, and I continued on this path through the woods until I came upon a grove of trees with a bench in a small clearing nearby. He guided me to sit on the bench and listen to the sounds all around me, the birds chirping, the leaves rustling, and a babbling brook off to one side that was happily gurgling.

Between the peaceful resonance of the words and the images of beauty they conjured, I was immediately launched back in memory to the land near a secluded psychic center I know on a mountain in North Carolina. It is a place of peace, little known except to a few psychics and some other enlightened beings, that provides a wealth of light and color rejuvenation techniques.

I had the pleasure of visiting it once, about fifteen years ago. Surrounding the center were numerous paths leading off into the woods, but only one drew my attention, so I followed it. A hundred paces later, I came upon a crystal clear stream that could be crossed by a stepping stone path. At its center was a man-size stone shaped like a bed and tilted toward the sun. I climbed over it and stepped to the other side. At the edge of the bank, I could look down and see every minute detail of every single rock, pebble, twig or tadpole between the water's surface and its sandy bottom. I had never before seen such pure clean water, in nature or otherwise. I picked up an orange and white pebble and dropped it gently into the stream, just so I could watch it fall and land on the bottom with a minor burst of sand at its arrival. I repeated the motions a few more times, slightly mesmerized, then decided to go back over the stones and lay on the big rock in the middle for a meditation in the sun.

I had no idea how long I lay there, but while my eyes were still closed, I saw a gray wolf watching over me as my mind wandered. When I sat up and opened my eyes, the wolf was gone from sight. I guess I didn't need to see her when my own vision was opened. So this was the place that brought peace to my body and soul while Ben and Sarah were encircling me with the healing process. Occasionally, I would comprehend a word or two of what they were saying, but I was otherwise mostly oblivious to the world outside myself just then.

At some point, I vaguely heard Ben's distant voice telling me he was going to open my chakras one at a time. I heard a delicate resonant bell ring and saw a red dot on the inside of my eyelids. A second bell rang, a light single note, and I saw an orange dot in my mind's eye. The bell rang a few more times, inspiring white dots in sequence. During this procedure, I became mildly aware that Helen had come over to the table and was standing beside me. My eyes fluttered, halfway between here and there, and just long enough to realize Helen was using her pendulum over me. As far as I knew, she hadn't asked Ben or Sarah for permission to intervene, or whatever she was doing, but I didn't feel threatened in any way. I heard Ben's and Helen's voices alternately speaking of me as a loving person, but that I haven't yet come fully forward as a psychic, though things are happening and changes are being made to get me on my path.

I found it intriguing that, while Ben and Sarah were directing the flow of energy around me, I felt very relaxed in a horizontal position on the table. When Helen came over with her pendulum, though my eyes were closed and I had not moved, I felt as if I was standing upright and watching her from a vertical position. It was the strangest feeling. When she returned to her seat, I felt horizontal again, and I had no idea why. It seemed I was at attention while she was there and more relaxed when she went back to her seat. All of this seemed to occur both next to me and at a great distance from my meditation rock in the crystal clear stream on a mountain in the sun. I was aloof and at peace, and as relaxed as I had ever been in my life.

As Ben started to talk me back and slowly peel the top Medicine Wheel off of me, it felt like a lead apron being lifted off, even though it had no more weight than a feather when he first laid it over me. When I commented on it, he replied that the Medicine Wheel had absorbed all of my burdens, which made it feel heavier now. He told me to sit up slowly and carefully swing my legs out over the edge of the table when I was ready, all of which I did in what seemed like slow motion. When I stepped down, instead of feeling dizzy or wobbly, I felt light as a feather and superbly balanced.

"Did you see it?" Sarah asked first.

Ben picked up on the confused look on my face and clarified, "Your animal spirit."

"Yes, I did." I smiled, "the wolf, watching over me from the edge of the path while I meditated on my rock."

"Wolf Sister!" Sarah raised her arms, came over, and we hugged with recognition.

Ben came around the table and quietly asked me if I remembered seeing anything else. I said yes, and I told him about the red, orange and white dots coinciding with the chakra bells, how as soon as he suggested the bench my mind went immediately to the rock in the stream on the mountain, and how I felt vertical when Helen approached the table, although I was really only halfway there at the time. He nodded and smiled and said I did good, and he told me I'd make a good student, which made me feel proud and a little full of myself.

"Thank you," I smiled in return, "Thanks for everything. I feel light as a feather, almost like floating on air," and it was absolutely true.

"You are very welcome," he nodded solemnly and humbly, and then grinned.

I had had no inkling of the passage of time or how long I was on the table, and I didn't care one bit. Everything was timeless. All I knew was that I felt lighter, stronger, impervious to harm, focused, relaxed, more aware, and in perfect health. I don't remember the last time, if ever, I felt so happy and whole. My soul felt full and balanced, and my inner paths were so well connected that my mind was aware of them. My body reacted by feeling weightless. Every part of me was breathing with life, including all of my chakras. Then I remembered Ben and Helen agreeing that I was a reluctant psychic who was good at following instincts, but hesitant to open that door and walk through it all the way, and my immediate thought was 'until now.'

The truth is that I had opened that door several times in the past and been severely burned as both teacher and student. Besides, I rationalized, I was always taught that a student and a teacher will find each other when the time is right, and I guess the time had not been right for me for quite awhile. Evidently, there was some karma that had to be worked out beforehand. The cruise was like a doorbell calling out for me to open the door and at least see who was there. Maybe it was time to pursue it once again, unencumbered this time.

© 2006, Donna Lycans

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