Never Say Never
By Jayne Chilkes

I was brought up in the UK just outside of London in a happy home with creative parents. I learnt to play the piano at the age of six and went to art school in my teens, becoming a fashion designer and a part of the New Romantic fashion scene in the 1980's with Boy George and the like.

I have worked in the healing arts for the last 20 years and I have to say my relationship pattern during the majority of my life was pretty awful! I had at least fifteen relationships that were particularly painful in various ways - I was mentally abused or two-timed and shown very little love or caring. I worked on loving myself, healing myself, affirmations, hypnotherapy, past life therapy, receiving healing, counselling, visualizations, meditation, and...guess what? My relationships were still awful! I had realization after realization about why I drew these patterns to me, but I just couldn't seem to break from them.

At age 42, in despair, I gave up! I said "no more". I would rather be alone than go through any further painful scenarios. I was happy to be on my own. Spiritually I grew and for three years received fantastic weekly soul channelings and training that gave me spiritual sustenance. I basked in the light of soul awareness and I met my Twin Flame who was in soul. I had no idea what was meant by a "Twin Flame," however, I always thought I would meet this perfect mate on the earth plane. Well that was not the plan for me, and my human self rebelled as my teacher, Pam, would bring my beloved Twin through in the channellings. Who was he? Why wasn't he on the earth? I didn't like someone loving me so much when I didn't know who he was! Then slowly, it dawned on me. I did know Him and I did love Him just as much as He loved me.

This is a poem by my teacher Pam that helps explain the Twin Flame connection a little more.

TWIN FLAMES

We met before the earthly time,
Together formed in peace.
The soaring lyrics of our love
The flight of swan and geese:
Spirit was our watering-place,
Eternity our sky;
And Life himself no others knew
Who loved as You and I

But man began the journey
Descent from heaven to earth.
Where in the cradle of concept
Man would come to birth.
We chose to nurse and steer him.
Until his soul could fly,
And soon Life knew no other two
As sad as You and I.

But the tempo now is changing:
There's quickening in the blood
As Man begins to reach the light
And struggle from the mud.
So soon time will not hold him
From destiny on high.
Then all as one shall travel home
To the World of You and I.

By Pamela Constantine

I felt my Twin in my vibration and believed I was all set for Life. Until gradually, over a period of years, my human self really wanted to meet a good, kind and sincere man here on earth. I knew no one could ever be like my Twin, moreover, the kind of Love given by Him is very private. I knew I needed practical help and loving support in daily living. I was also reading and repeating affirmations daily from Catherine Ponders' book "The Prosperity Secrets of the Ages." One of the ones I was affirming stated, "I deserve everything, success is my divine heritage." At that point I was thinking primarily of abundance, money and success.

One of my friends said "all my friends are having great success in meeting partners at www.match.com - why don't you try it?" "Well," I said "I really am not interested in a relationship right now!" So, very confused, I stepped forward just a little, pretending to myself that nothing would come of it!

I went to the website and I tried the whole of the UK with no one fitting the spiritual understanding I was looking for. Then I saw a great beautiful hunk advertised on the first page of this website from the USA. Does that mean I could get to talk to men in the USA? A light went on as I changed my search criteria and typed in 'over 5,000 miles', and lo and behold up came a list of much more interesting men abroad. There seemed to be men who would actually write paragraphs about themselves and be totally honest. I then found Soulful9. A name that encaptured my 'soul' work and my number! Soulful9 was intelligent, sincere, kind and had been involved with spiritual growth for twenty years.

It was so exciting writing to Soulful9 for the first time! I felt very safe too because he was in Rochester, NY and I was in London, UK. I knew I wasn't going to get physically involved, which would scare me very much. I kept thinking I would like to meet Soulful9 one day, maybe in a year's time. We really got on very well and he wrote so eloquently and profoundly. What was even more bizarre to me was that he worked as a police officer! That seemed a bit dangerous to me, but fortunately he had left working on the street to work in an administrative assignment. Well, a spiritual policeman - that was even stranger!

I kept showing my mother his emails and she seemed to approve. After weeks of this chatting to and fro, sometimes three times a day, I was hooked. We were becoming best friends. We told each other everything about ourselves on a very deep level. That is something very unique about the Internet. You see somebody from the inside, first.

Yet, soulful9, whose name is Rick, really didn't seem to make much effort to want to see me or come over to the UK. I later found out he thought it would be impossible to meet. His search was limited to a 25-mile radius and that was it.

His 40th birthday was coming up, so I thought I would surprise him by sending one of my tapes and a copy of my first book "The Call of an Angel" with a photo of myself. I had seen a picture of him, but he hadn't seen a picture of me! His picture, by the way, was absolutely ghastly! Three chins, massive nostrils, glasses and a balding head. I kept reminding myself that this was beyond looks - this was a special friendship.

Then something unexpected happened. After about two months of corresponding, the Universe seemed to have ideas other than our own. A family dilemma occurred where I was living, and I knew I could not be in that atmosphere and continue with my healing and soul channeling work. On the day of the dilemma, Rick wrote to me and said he had received my book and tape and thanked me. He also said that if there was anything within his power that he could do for me, he would. That night I had a vision of knocking on his front door and staying with him for a couple of weeks so I could have a break and re-think. I told him the next morning there was something he could do for me. Have me to visit. He immediately took two weeks off from work.

The next day he rang me for the first time and we spoke for over an hour. It was the actual day of his 40th birthday. His voice sounded wonderful to me and I knew I really loved this man. I could hear the kindness and sincerity in his voice. I was very nervous yet excited at my decision, and so was he. As the three weeks passed until my flight to Rochester, we grew even more nervous. What did I have to lose? He gave me the telephone numbers of his parents, relations and friends and that made me feel much safer. He reassured me and I just had a good feeling about it all. I knew I was safe and that my soul guides wouldn't let me do anything too stupid. It was so exciting!

I arrived at Rochester, NY airport on June 12th 2000. Rick was so cute - in fact, much cuter than his photo and I was very relieved! There was a rose on the seat of the car and when I arrived at his house there was a huge bouquet of flowers, the biggest bunch of flowers I had ever received. He had bought brand new furniture for my bedroom and I was treated like a queen. We got on so very well, just as we had hoped.

We decided to get married after the first week! We did not want to be apart. Other friends that I call "human angels," arranged it so that I would have no stress or legal problems getting in and out of the country, which was a miracle in itself, and another sign I was meant to stay.

We were married on August 11th 2000 in Lilydale NY, which turned out to be a beautiful sunny day. Lilydale is a spiritual community located in western NY near the city of Fredonia.

I still feel and communicate with my Twin Flame, and Rick and I are very happily married. I have to thank the creators of the Internet, the Universe, and God for such wonderful blessings. I feel I am supported and loved by Rick and his family and, moreover, I learnt that all things are possible. Above all, I learnt never to say never!

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Jayne Chilkes (UK) has been a Healer for twenty years. After beginning her career as a Fashion Designer in London, she dedicated her life to the Spiritual Path. She recently starred as an Angel Expert on the Russell Grant Show and currently lives in Rochester, NY. She works as a Soul Channel, and also runs Angel Workshops and Healing Courses in the USA and England.

Jayne is also the author of two books, The Call of an Angel and Twelve Steps to Heaven. Details are available at http://theangelschannel.netfirms.com or write to angels3@rochester.rr.com.