I WAS VISITING MY FRIEND JENNY RECENTLY and watched her flip through her family photo albums. She delighted in the pictures of her children when they were young and still believed the magic of Santa Claus.

"Oh, to have those days back," Jenny cooed. "I want to experience the excitement of their imaginations at that age."

But Jenny was working full time back then, with countless responsibilities besides the two kids. Now they are teenagers in college.

"I pine for those innocent faces," Jenny lamented. "I should have taken more time to drink them in."

Does this sound familiar? Are you either looking behind or analyzing ahead, searching for the happiness you know is just around the next corner, or nothing is as happy as your past? A Zen student once asked his master the secret to enlightenment. The master replied, "Eat when you are hungry, sleep when you are tired." In other words, live in the NOW. We've heard this all before. The past is history, the future a mystery and the present is a gift. That's why it's called the "present". Yet I could never really grasp the concept until this year.

I was one of those who always looked ahead. My mother and I began studying the concept of synchronicity, or meaningful coincidences, eight years ago and began to write a book. It took years to research, and write and I just knew when it was finished I would be on easy street. Happiness would be mine when a publisher took it off my hands and did the rest of the work. My days were consumed with creating query letters, scouring the library for literary agents and publishers and standing in line at the post office.

My entire mindset was on the future, that attainable happiness - if only one of those darn publishers would recognize the value of our words. Yes, joy was within reach. Yet as the years melted by I noticed I wasn't happy. I was in a constant state of anger and frustration. Sure, I raised my children with love and devotion, but our book was always on my mind, the key to real fulfillment and bliss for my entire family.

As the rejection letters mounted, and three years slipped past, we had an incredible synchronicity that insisted we self-publish our book. It was a route I swore I would never take, but this was the path that set us free. We published our book in our own words and immersed ourselves in the marketing process. I was a television news reporter for many years, which confined my writing. Now, I had total control to finally speak my spiritual truth, yet the happiness was still a book sale away. I will be happy when we are on Amazon.com. I will be happy when we have done twenty book signings. I will be happy when we are interviewed by all the local media. This all happened. In fact, I have been honored to write numerous articles for metaphysical magazines around the world and appeared on many radio and television shows. I just want to share the enchanting truth of synchronicity. But as I reached each new pinnacle, I set a higher goal for happiness, always in the future.

It was the most heart wrenching, exhausting journey and continued into early last year. It was then I began to write the screenplay. Surely, I'll be happy when our book becomes a movie. The rejections began to arrive and I realized I couldn't go on in this chaotic state. I shouted to the Universe, "My life is passing me by. When will the happiness arrive?"

The answer came one day at the library when I was attracted to an autobiography written by Elizabeth Glaser. The Absence of Angels is the story of how Elizabeth (wife of Paul Michael Glaser of Starsky & Hutch fame) contracted the AIDS virus through a blood transfusion and passed it on to her children. I sobbed as this young, vibrant woman lost her dear daughter from the disease. She started up the Pediatric AIDS initiative in Washington as she was dying herself. She talked in great detail about how she knew she had just so much time left and each moment was extremely precious.

When I finished the devastating story and held her book in my hands, I knew the Universe had sent my answer. It was time to live like every moment was precious. Because of Elizabeth's descriptions, I finally understood what that required. That very evening, I was sitting on my couch brooding about my screenplay. I immediately changed my thoughts. I am right NOW, at this moment, sitting on a gorgeous sofa in the prettiest family room on earth, in the coziest home I know. I have heat, and running water, and everything I could ever want. My heart suddenly overflowed with love. At that moment, my son entered the room, plopped down on the couch beside me and leaned his head on my shoulder. I could feel his warmth and energy and I cuddled against him. At that NOW moment, I experienced happiness beyond my wildest dreams. The happiness continues NOW every day!

I have learned it's as simple and immediate as changing my thoughts. If I find myself begrudgingly washing dishes, wondering if a certain producer is considering my screenplay, I consciously and instantly change my thought to, "I am the luckiest girl on earth to own these pretty dishes and an automatic dishwasher to help me wash them. I am healthy and happy at this very moment in time, with a loving husband and my two precious children." The changes in my moods and "happiness" are immense. If you don't cherish it NOW, you will be looking back like my friend and wishing you had. NOW is the PRESENT you have been waiting for.

© Jill Wellington, 2004

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jill Wellington is an American journalist who is co-authoring with her mother a series of mystery novels that teach spiritual truths. The writing duo channels the books and Jill dreamed the spiritual messages. The first book in this series is titled Fireworks, which teaches the concept of synchronicity. You can read more about Jill, her mother and their writing, plus order the book by visiting their website at www.stargatepress.com. Fireworks is also available on Amazon.com.