WE ALL HAVE a voice within us, a fiery fearless voice that tells us how to live fully and authentically. All we have to do is listen, and act. But, as we all know, there are other voices competing for our attention. This is the story of how I recently turned the dial to tune in to that voice, and of how I learned to play in life.

I had begun to notice how much I wanted to be more, to live more fully. I recognised how often I played life "small and safe," when I really wanted to play life "big and adventurous." This wasn't a new feeling: I'd been at this same place many times before, where something deep inside, or Life itself, is calling to me from beyond my boundaries and limitations: Hey Karen, come out and play!

That invitation has always been irresistible, and so was the opportunity to spend two incredible days with Socrates and Jerry Lewis where I learned, for the first time in my life, how to play in life as a spontaneous and joyful improvisation. Actually, the philosopher and entertainer were one person, Robert Rabbin, who facilitated the two-day Presencing MasterClass. Robert explains Presencing as a unique style of self-expression based on speaking from one's authentic self.

Robert is somewhat new to Australia. He speaks with a soft American accent and has a passion for showing the willing how to ignite fires of authentic self-expression deep in the belly of their soul. His approach to speaking is not based on formulae. It is much more real and present. To watch him in motion is like being with Socrates and Jerry Lewis at the same time. This man embodied "presencing" in every moment. I wanted to discover that same well of confidence, joy and playfulness within myself, and to live from that place in a sustainable way.

Spending time with someone poignantly profound and profoundly entertaining helped me to recognize, with my own wisdom, just how I had created my burdens and boundaries. When I saw this, an incredible lightness of being began bubbling up from within, filling me with confidence and ease, allowing me to truly relax in my own skin and play without editing everything into soul-crushing appropriateness.

For eight hours on each of two consecutive Saturdays, Robert challenged me to "come out and play." Through his own formidable insights and sense of humour he encouraged me to take a look at the limitations and beliefs that were binding me to habitual responses.

The task: to not unquestioningly believe anything my mind told me, to not habitually censor my conversations in order to stay small or safe, to not repress my desire for play for fear of judgment. I began to question every movement, every impulse, every motivation to see what premise it was based upon. Did I believe what I wanted to say was not worth listening to? Did I feel I would not be accepted if I lived out loud? In what ways did I limit my life by no longer allowing myself to play and fully enjoy the moment? How big was my playground? What was outside of the boundaries and why?

One of Roberts's comments that really struck home was about freedom. To be truly free, he said, one has to give oneself permission to say, be, and do anything. It is only from our willingness to do this fully and completely in every moment that we can then choose to live an authentic life, with spontaneity and playfulness taking the place of rules and dogma. It was one of the most radically logical statements I had heard.

Taking his comment to heart, I realised that I had simply decided many of the things I truly wanted were unattainable to me. Along with this, I realized how many decisions I had made to hold myself back, how often I had gotten in my own way when I wanted to speak with my true voice, or to act from my authentic self, the one that has always wanted freedom, always wanted to play big, and live a grand adventure of creative self-expression. Robert was challenging me to take a look at these limitations and beliefs in a new way. I was asked to speak, to act, without preconceived ideas about what is appropriate or inappropriate, permitted or not permitted.

If I am to be truly free, to experience life from absolute freedom, then I had to be free to choose how I would respond in any situation, to remove the self/society imposed limitations. I would have to drop all of the commentary, censorship, and judgment that so often paralyzes me at the point of speaking or acting. I would have to stop listening to all the negative press releases which I conceived within my own mind.

I thought that I had been living a free and authentic life. But somewhere in the conversation with Socrates, or Jerry Lewis, or in doing one of the exercises, or standing up and speaking, I realised that I had fallen under the spell of what I thought a life lived in freedom and authenticity looked like.

I realized that I had imprisoned myself in the idea of freedom, the idea of authenticity. But to really be free, to live authentically, well, that was a different matter. The fear of consequences had stopped me. The fear of criticism had stopped me. The fear of judgments had stopped me. But I saw that these were all imaginary, that it was really my own decision that kept me from living a free and authentic life.

This was not an opportunity to theorise, to sit around and postulate on what it might be like. I was offered a real opportunity to look honestly and see. An invitation was extended to experience living without a back-up plan, without a safety net, without the self-imposed limitations - just to see, just one moment at a time.

When I took away all of the self-imposed limitations and doubts over the next few days, I began to see and experience that I could live the life I am here to live. And this life felt amazingly whole and complete. It seemed to live itself. I was able to speak in a far more spontaneous manner. I began to have fun in a way that I seldom had before. Suddenly, "small and safe" were transforming almost effortlessly to "full and adventurous."

I feel that "Presencing" is something we all often do but are not necessarily aware of. It happens when we are passionate, open, and relaxed. It is a way of being the message we wish to convey before any words are spoken. In this there is an innate and often infectious joy that seems to open a whole new realm of possibility and potential. It wasn't so much that things changed in my life, it was just that I was suddenly able to experience and enjoy what was here. Instead of living from "should", I lived from an unrehearsed script, simply making a more intimate connection to each moment and responding spontaneously. I experienced deeper connections that were more intimate and vulnerable. Life felt amazing, whole, and complete - regardless of the circumstances. Life seemed to live itself as me, through me.

During the second day of class, I witnessed a succession of useless and limiting behaviors being shaken off as each participant, along with myself, became more free to believe in themselves and more confident to play with life. Something magical happened as each person just stepped back and got out of the way, to let life in. A genuine and unmistakable joyousness shone out of each and every face and being as laughter became the most common form of punctuation.

I was ready to play with life, just to see, and found myself inexplicably drawn to a presence that serves itself beauty, magic and wonder in cosmic proportions. Spending time with this Socrates/Jerry Lewis somehow gave me permission to ignite a fire that now burns brighter within and without. I have found how to inspire myself.

If you're not playing in life, then spending some time with Robert in his Presencing MasterClass could be just the spark you need to ignite your fiery fearless voice, a voice that will then tell you exactly how to live as you were meant to.

© 2006, Karen Fraser

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Karen Fraser is an artist, writer and Accredited Journey Therapist who has worked in the areas of art, health and wholeness for seven years. Karen offers group workshops on the Art of Being, Mandala Painting For Wholeness and Healing, and private sessions as a counselor in Journey Work, Cognitive Therapy, and NLP. Karen can be contacted at lumiere1@aapt.net.au or on MOB: 0422 175 787. Presencing information can be found at www.presencing.com.au.