NEXT MORNING I AWOKE earlier than usual, feeling that I'd slept better than I had in years. I took a walk in the garden and then headed to the workshop area. I didn't expect to find anyone there, but Nathan had also arrived before the others. He was at the back of the room, and as I approached, I saw an odd shaped sphere that looked like a tiny flying saucer moving by itself over a piece of wood on the table. I had seen tops that spun on the table, but this was hovering above, and I asked Nathan how that was possible.

"It's moving in relation to the magnetic strips beneath the wood, using a combination of aerodynamic principles based on shape, weight, material, and attraction."

I couldn't take my eyes off of it. It seemed magical.

"It's very graceful."

Nathan nodded. "Yes. Things that work with the natural flow of energy are extremely graceful. You can tell this is not a mechanical device operating on fuel. It's very riveting, isn't it?"

Looking at Nathan, I realized he was the one person at the workshop about whom I knew very little.

"Nathan, how did you get interested in all the things you do... what was your start?"

He laughed. "Well, growing up in the projects of Philadelphia was a tough experience. As an African American, I had to give a wide berth to a lot of people who had no interest in seeing me make anything of myself. Fortunately, there were two individuals who really believed in me. One was my grandmother, and the other was a sixth grade teacher who turned me on to science. I was hooked forever. That's why I tend to get so impassioned about things.

"I know firsthand what can happen if somebody takes an interest in you. It's become a pop phrase, but it really does take a village to raise a child. And the villages I saw raised drug addicts and gang members because very few people felt adequate or capable of making a difference. There was no structure, no framework for kids in the inner city. So gangs became the family. Guns meant power, and drugs were the escape. There was poverty, but more than that, there was hopelessness.

"My grandmother was a tough lady. She never believed anything couldn't be achieved. We were going through a lot of shifts when I was born in a search for our own identity. For a lot of us, the stereotype of colored and black were inadequate. Blood became our term. It was our blood and sweat that built a lot of this country, our blood that was spilled on the streets of America. We became brothers and sisters in a nation that wanted our labor but not our character. It was a way of trying to pull ourselves into a unified force."

"How did you escape what so many other people didn't?" I asked.

Nathan laughed heartily. "I told you my grand-mother was a tough old bird. She would have invoked the wrath of God if I'd gotten off track. But more than that, I always had a sense that I was here for something bigger than my surroundings. Somehow I had the foresight to look further down the line to see what was happening to people who got into the gangs and became the addicts. There were very few of them who didn't end up dead or in jail. So when my grandmother told me I had to pay attention in school because it was a way out, I believed her."

"Where were your parents?" I asked.

"They worked constantly to bring in enough money to support the family. My grandmother lived right next door, and that's what saved us. I have two sisters who've also done well. One's a teacher, and the other's a lawyer. We're active within our communities and work with those left behind, because none of us forgot our roots. We know we were lucky. If things had been different, we might have been part of the tragedy rather than the triumph."

I shook my head. I had no idea that Nathan had overcome such a challenging beginning. "I'm sure glad that you got the right guidance, because it would have been such a waste not to have the benefit of your brilliance, not to mention you."

Nathan smiled at me. "Thanks. I'm glad it turned out that way, too."

After breakfast, Roland started the morning session by going over some of the things we'd talked about the day before.

Fiona spoke up. "Roland, there are a few things I would like you to clarify. Yesterday you said we all had to give up our history in order to do this work. Please elaborate on that for me."

Roland paused before speaking again. "In answer to your question... it is the collective history that each of us holds on to that separates us from the rest of life. We nurse grudges that have been played out for centuries. You can look at the obvious examples of this in relation to what's happened in Eastern Europe and the Middle East as well as other places around the world where people act out ancient hatreds towards one another. But we all experience levels of this collective unrest... just not necessarily to that extreme.

"When one culture or dominant group forces its will on another, control can be exerted for as long as restrictions are in place. But if the change is imposed from the external world, and nothing is done to clear the underlying cause or misconception, when the restriction is removed, the issue will burst forward again in full fury. You cannot legislate love. It has to come through the release of fear, and this requires education and tolerance.

"Until each of us gains clarity within ourselves, the collective is contaminated. That's why we have to bring the level of accountability down to the individual... the smallest cell. If we build from the individual level, we will have a foundation that can withstand attack. The more each of us contributes to the light body, the larger our possibility will be."

Lillian spoke up. "When I went around the world in search of the Goddess images, I found something quite extraordinary happening in Yugoslavia before all the madness was unleashed. In a little town called Medjugorje, there was the visitation to some of the local children by an apparition of the Virgin Mary. The children were told things and given about seven signs that would signal certain world events. They were not allowed to tell anyone, but the revelation was written and sealed, to be revealed later. The children were devastated by the information, and continued to pass the message from Mary to the people that they must return to prayer and love one another so that the prophecies would be avoided. A local priest who knew of the prophecies even forbade his parishioners to leave the church one Sunday until they forgave each other for past offenses.

"There were healings and continued conversations with the apparition for several years. Pilgrimages are still made there by people from all over the world who want to be healed. But the reason for my telling this story is that the hatred and horrendous conflict between Bosnia, Serbia and Croatia was predicted. The Blessed Mother offered the gift of her love to heal the wounds of a society that would soon be ravaged by war.

"This shows me, as much as any other example, the existence of the mystical element within our midst. As I searched for the Goddess figures of old, I saw the incredible weaving of mystery throughout cultures everywhere. This has been the inspiration for my paintings, because the great mystery is always there, just out of reach, veiled by the face of fear. It is the great dance of life between the Sacred and the Profane."

Fiona added her comments. "I met a wonderful Buddhist monk during my work in documentaries, who had experienced the horror of Vietnam, watching his fellow monks setting themselves on fire in protest to the war. His message is very eloquent... we must be peace in order to have peace."

Roland agreed. "Yes, I know of him, also. He was very clear that we have to give up our need to hold on to the individual and collective history that has impaled us. We must allow the present moment to be our reference point, and trust that whatever we need from the past to help navigate through the future is already encoded in us. We can give up the details. We can drop the pettiness. When we do, we become clear channels, opening the way for light to penetrate us without contamination."

My experiences on the Labyrinth came to mind, as did the extensive conversation I had with my Labyrinth companions regarding food. I expressed my feeling that as we change our diets to reflect healthy eating patterns that enhance the physical body, we become clear conduits for higher electrical frequencies. By clearing the emotional body through positive thinking, we refine our field of perception and are able to maintain the higher vibrations, becoming vessels of light in the process.

We were all quiet for a few moments. There was a lot to think about. Then Roland spoke.

"As we do the breath, sound, and color exercises, we are engaging in the first part of a clearing process that is essential for what comes later. In a sense, it is as though we've all learned the alphabet, which was the prerequisite that brought us to this point. Now we're having to learn to read and to string those letters together to shape meaning. We have to relate thought through a universal medium that everyone will understand... given that they've also learned the alphabet."

Nathan spoke. "This is why numbers are universal symbols. Language forms idiomatically, but numbers are identifiable no matter what you speak. And numbers are the alphabet of sacred geometry, which is the foundation of the universe."

Mark commented. "So, what I'm hearing is that as we practice connecting energetically through the breath, we'll feel the subtle differences within ourselves and the information fields surrounding us. And as we communicate with each other through the exercises we've been doing, we'll be able to generate some pretty cool stuff!"

"Yes," said Roland. "We're engaging in the first steps. There are other exercises that will be beneficial, and I'm going to refer you to people whose work will be helpful in refining your perception. What we're trying to do is set a process in motion, and as our intention is clear, we'll get all the help we need along the way.

Mark noted that according to research there is only ten percent of identifiable matter in the universe, and that we as humans are only supposed to be using about ten percent of our brain at this time.

"True," said Roland. "However, there is ninety percent of the brain that is attuned to ninety percent of dark matter in the universe that cannot be defined because it vibrates at a different frequency! The work we are doing is going to expand us into that, and we're going to awaken to a whole new dimension of possibilities. The purpose for all of this is a new prototype. In effect, we are moving towards becoming fully human. We're just not there yet."

Throughout the day we went over everything we'd learned during our week in New Mexico. When the afternoon session was finished, I went with Nathan and Fiona to the sulfur springs to enjoy the experience I'd missed earlier in the week.

Trees surrounded the area, and the mixture of heat, pine, and late afternoon emitted a gentle fragrance that was restorative. We had to climb over a series of boulders and walk a weathered path to get to a place where the springs were contained in a natural pool that looked like a large cup. The odor of sulfur rose from the water, and as I breathed in the sounds and smells of this peaceful place, I felt sad at the prospect of leaving New Mexico.

All three of us were quiet, soaking in the hot springs. Fiona and Nathan had forged a strong friendship, and I was happy to be invited to join them, as they were the two I knew least.

As we started to talk about things, Fiona commented about how much she enjoyed visiting all the different places in the world where culture expressed itself so differently.

"How so?" I asked.

"Well," she responded. "In Ireland, everything is very tightly structured. We're very, very close to one another, but everything you do is prescribed by your parents, or the priests and nuns, or the neighbors. You can plan your whole life out for forty or fifty years, and there'll never be any change.

"I wanted to see what other possibilities existed, because my parents brought me to America for a visit when I was just a teenager, and I was fascinated by the lack of structure I saw here. So when I decided that I couldn't stand having my life planned out neatly ahead of me, I chose to live in the States. It was a very traumatic event at first because I had to make my own decisions, and I didn't know how. At home you didn't need to think for yourself."

"How interesting," I commented. Reflecting on my conversation with Nathan in the morning, I observed the dramatic difference in their early environments. He saw lack of structure and felt there was a need for it, and she was enmeshed in structure that plotted one's entire future. Yet, out of the unstructured world Nathan lived in came gangs who filled the need for "belonging" to a group that would make decisions for the individual, albeit negative ones.

Nathan laughed. "So we both escaped entrapment. Just different ends of the spectrum."

"True," I said. "And what is the special ingredient that made both of you different from the many others who did not break free?"

We all thought about that question and Fiona answered. "For me there was such a thirst to know about everything, from the time I was a little girl. I never took anything I was told as gospel. I had incredible curiosity and wanted to find things out for myself. And beyond that, I had a sense that I was meant for something bigger. That set me on a quest that pushed me into film making."

"Yes." Nathan agreed. "I also had a strong sense of destiny. There was something beyond my surroundings, and as much as I was helped by the influence of my grandmother and my teacher, there was an aspect in myself that was able to recognize that help. A part of me was always observing and was not connected to the events that unfolded in my life. I later came to recognize this aspect in Buddhism."

"So," I said. "From the time we were little, each one of us yearned for something beyond the world of appearances... beyond the details of our historical and biological roots. I think we're talking about the essence of Soul. For some reason we had knowledge of that at an early age, and were not content until we got connected to the right path. In essence, we have always been on a quest for the Grail."

We looked at each other reflectively as a moment of insight dawned.

After returning for dinner, we met the others in the dining room. It felt like the Last Supper, and none of us wanted to go home. Lillian would be returning to Taos, so she didn't have to leave the magic of New Mexico, but for the rest of us, there were large metropolitan areas to contend with.

Having found the mountains made it that much harder for me to go. I decided to spend time sketching their beauty on my way out of the valley. I wanted to emblazon it forever in my memory, and reprimanded myself for not bringing a camera.

We gathered for our last formal meeting as a group in the workshop area of Roland's house. Those of us who needed to confirm our travel arrangements had done so, and Roland went over the various points we'd discussed throughout our stay. We did the breathing, sound and color exercises, with the added provision that we would make an effort to link up with one another through this process daily.

The vibrant colors I had seen running between us were highways of light, stimulated by the synchronization of our intention, just as I'd seen with the bottles at Tia Minnie's adobe when she played certain tones on her flute. There is so much more to energy fields than any of us knows, and we were making an attempt to create subtle energetic bridges, connecting links with each other that were not dependent on any outside form of communication.

We had agreed that our group purpose was to strengthen the inner connections we were developing with one another. We would form a phone tree and talk twice monthly. For those of us on the Internet, we'd keep in touch more regularly through e-mail. Lillian, who was not yet "wired," said she was going to finally take the plunge, as it was now apparent that the Web was here to stay.

"I think as a closing note," Roland said, "it would be good to check our schedules and see if there's a chance we can meet within the next month; either here or somewhere we can agree upon."

As it turned out, everyone was supposed to be in the Bay Area for different events around the end of the month, except for Lillian, who was happy to come to the coast for a visit. I offered to make arrangements for a gathering where we would exchange ideas and map a path for future exploration.

"Good!" Roland looked at each one of us as he had done when we first came together, and I felt the swelling of love, as well as a lump in my throat.

I had formed a strong bond to people who prior to the gathering were strangers. Yet, in this setting, and through our sharing, we had become very close. We were people who shared a common quest and were kindred spirits.

We laughed and chatted amidst ourselves, saying goodbyes and planning for our next get-together. The New Mexico portion of my journey was complete.

© Kathleen Jacoby, 2000-2006

To purchase a copy of VISION OF THE GRAIL please click on the cover to the right.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Kathleen Jacoby is a professional numerologist with over 25 years of experience. She is also one of PlanetLightworker's earliest contributors and an incredible spiritual teacher. She has been on radio and television, and has lectured and taught extensively.

In addition to numerology, Kathleen is the editor of a quarterly newsletter of ideas and inquiry called Seasons of the Soul, and author of the critically acclaimed spiritual adventure novel, Vision of the Grail.

Visit Kathleen's website: www.grailvision.com, and her BLOG at www.kathleenjacoby.blogs.com, or write to her at: Visionofthegrail@aol.com.