Who waits until the wind shall silent keep, will never find the ready hour to sow.
Helen Hunt Jackson

I'M NOTICING HOW DEEPLY PEOPLE have been changed by the events of September 11, 2001. Many have shared how their life has taken on a new meaning and how precious it has become; they express how they are no longer willing to wait for the ever elusive perfect time, that the time to live is now.

Sometimes it takes a significant, even life threatening event in order for us to "wake up" and begin living life to its fullest. It appears that the events of September 11 are motivating countless numbers of us to stop delaying our soul from experiencing its' deepest desire. For who among us really knows how long we are going to be here? Such mortality humbles us and helps us to realize that the time for taking care of unfinished business, whether it be in the form of manifesting our dreams or healing our relationships is not later, but right now.

In my own life, September 11 was a powerful reminder to update and manifest my list of dreams, one of them being a physical relocation. And now, as I'm moving, I'm finding that such a change requires more than just saying "so long," packing my belongings and relocating. That may have worked when I was younger, but now that I am more conscious, it's apparent that in order to move forward with a clear heart and mind, I must mindfully honor and appreciate all that I have. This includes my home and community, the work that I have done, and all of the relationships I have cultivated and been blessed with. The old Laura would have wanted to stay busy with the move and focus on the future. Yet, the current me knows this doesn't work. I've learned, the hard way, that a move or change of any kind must be felt, accepted, grieved and appreciated before new doors can be genuinely opened and walked through. Our soul does not appreciate transitioning quickly; it enjoys languishing in the known and familiar and blossoms as we tend to unfinished business.

Recently, as I was having a "farewell" dinner with a dear friend, I felt moved to speak my truth and share some feelings about a past situation that seemed to be "hanging out there." My intention was to share from my heart and let her know how much I care, no matter what has transpired in the past. Much like a death, it felt like I was ready to resolve any unfinished business so I could continue my journey with a peaceful heart. As I held steadfast to my deepest truth and spoke from as genuine and loving place as possible, I discovered that as wonderful as this connection was, there still were some feelings that had been pushed down. Saying "farewell" to those closest to me while speaking my truth led me to a place much deeper within myself than I had ever previously experienced. It reminded me of a section I had read from Gary Zukav's recent book, Heart of the Soul where he and co-writer/spiritual partner Linda Francis stated, "When energy leaves the fifth center [the throat area] in love and trust, you express yourself clearly and easily. Your voice is full and strong. It does not waver, it is not tentative."

Speaking our truth is a way to honor our self, the other, and the relationship. It requires courage and the willingness to detach from the other person's reaction. Over the years I have found that we have three levels of truth:
1) Intellectual truth - this is the situation and its' story line: "who said/did what/when";
2) Emotional truth - being able to feel our feelings about the situation;
3) Spiritual truth - the ability to rise above the situation by recognizing it is a classroom for learning and by taking responsibility for what we feel and how we react.

Many of us get stuck in intellectual truth and stay there. You know when you are stuck at this level because nothing gets resolved. The conversation or argument just goes around and around and the core issue remains obscured. Both parties are frequently left feeling drained and frustrated. Emotional truth, however, is a springboard for great growth because it requires accessing our feelings and honestly expressing them. However, it is much more difficult because it entails becoming aware of our pain, anger, jealousy and so on-feelings that most of us would rather push away and bury. And yet, becoming emotionally aware is a very empowering gift we can give our self and others. It allows us to embrace all of our aspects-those we like and those we don't - so we may experience our wholeness.

Spiritual truth can only be reached by moving through emotional truth first. For example, the next time you engage in a conversation with someone, notice what is being said and who is saying it. That's your intellectual truth. Next, take a moment to scan your feelings after the conversation. How are you feeling? Invalidated, sad, relieved, confused, happy, fulfilled, empty, angry? Don't settle for "I feel good, okay or fine." These are not feelings and they will not help you access your deeper truth. If you're not able to get in touch with what you're feeling, scan your body all the way from the top of your head down to the bottom of your feet. Do you notice any discomfort or tension? Our bodies are miraculous barometers for pinpointing our feelings. Be honest with yourself and refrain from judging what you are feeling. Finally, envision the conversation and exchange as a learning experience that will help you move forward in your life's journey. What can you learn from the situation and your feelings? Perhaps you're discovering that you take what people say too personally, or, you're learning that you tend to avoid conflict, preventing you from sharing your truth. There are as many lessons for us to learn on this planet as there are classrooms to learn them in. The point is for you to become aware of your deepest truth and to express it.

You don't have to move away in order to deepen your relationships and heal them. You need only be willing. Imagine this month is the last month you will be in your body, alive on this planet. Then, think about the people who have been brought into your life for you to learn from and love. Are there others with whom you would like to share something, but haven't because of fear and doubt? Do you have some unfinished business to finish? Remember, it is never too late and that the time is Now. Ask for inner guidance, access your deepest truth and let go of the outcome. You will feel lighter, more fulfilled and incredibly empowered to say "Yes!" to life as Life exclaims "Yes!" to you.

© 2002 Laura V. Hyde