For those of us that thrive on personal growth and are constantly looking for ways to improve, and better ourselves, the idea of “accepting” ourselves may feel like embracing “mediocrity” or “settling”. Won't I get complacent if I totally accept myself? Will I lose my edge or drive? If I "accept" my significant other just as he/she is, does that mean I'm encouraging them to stop growing? No. No. No.

When we “accept” something.....we let go of resistance, the fight or struggle.. and what is left is peace. It's this resistance to what is, that keeps us or our partners in a locked a set of behaviors - that won't change. When we resist circumstances in our lives, our energy is tied up in the struggle. As soon as we just accept the circumstances, the energy is free to move about. We can dance with the what is in a different way, often creating the very movement we're looking for.

Acceptance doesn't mean retiring “growth”, or your situation not changing. It simply means that you embrace what is. In fact, I'm finding that as I accept certain people and situations (that I previously resisted) more and more... the growing/progress happens more naturally, and often more quickly.

For example: I'm 36 years old, single and the clock is ticking because I would love to have children. I realized recently that this was causing me to put a lot of undo pressure (otherwise known as “resistance”) on myself and thus various men I've been dating. I finally decided to come to a place of “acceptance" around the fact that I may not have children...or ever get married. Wow. Coming to peace with this has been powerful for me. There are numerous joys in this new “acceptance" of WHAT IS. And, in this acceptance, I decided to investigate getting my ovary “eggs” frozen (in case my eggs aren't eager to conceive if  “my beloved” shows up later on). But, more importantly, it's taken the pressure off of me. Does this mean I gave up my desire to have the most amazing relationship on the planet? No. Does this mean I'll stop looking for my “beloved”? No. Does it mean I'll stop trying to grow in the area of relationships? No. However, in this new state of Acceptance, I feel more freedom to be myself, enjoy the moment, and go with the flow in my current relationships. And, I'm growing even more in relationships... in a way I never have before.

Soulful Challenge: What are you resisting most in life? Step into a place of acceptance this week. Embrace this “what is”. See what happens. And feel free to share your results at: mary@lifecoachmary.com.