WHAT
DO YOU DO WHEN you
don't have all the information or communication with someone?
Something feels "off", and you haven't spoken directly
about it. Maybe they didn't return a call or respond to an email,
plans to get together never materialized, or were cancelled
unexpectedly. Or suddenly all communication has disappeared.
Maybe they haven't reminded you lately that they "love
you", or responded in the manner you had hoped or expected.
What do you do?
"make stuff up..."
Definition of "making
stuff up" - Attaching a meaning or interpretation to the
action or non-action without investigating the "made up"
thought.
Isn't this reasonable? We've
all watched enough TV and movies to know that "sometimes"
in the absence of information "horrible things happen"...they
stopped loving us, you're no longer important in their life,
they're secretly upset with you, torturing you purposely, or
worse yet they fell in love with someone else. I admit it. I've
found myself "making stuff up" in the absence of truth
and full communication. Have you?
"When we attach to a thought
that is not grounded in reality, we are literally giving ourselves
a "head-trip" and creating "stress" in our
lives for no good reason."
For the most part "making
stuff up" is ludicrous, and only creates drama. Not to
pick on women, but I believe our gender tends to "make
up" that we're "not loved" or "no longer
important", more quickly and often than men do. Although,
I've known men to "make stuff up" too. This is silly.
And, it drives other's crazy. You've probably experienced this
phenomena both ways.
Why do we "make stuff up"
about "not being loved or important"? It stems largely
from "insecurity", doubting oneself, and expecting
the worse. And, it's simply a bad habit formed through conditioning.
Unfortunately, it often elicits the opposite result we desire.
So, the less we "make up", the better.
In other situations, the simple
reality is "we don't know...YET". Quit hypothesizing
and brainstorming the 10 most likely best and worst-case scenarios
and just ASK. The answer can often be had in ONE SIMPLE QUESTION.
Are you "making
stuff up"?
Here's a simple formula: A
+ B = C
Look at the FACTS...that's "A".
A fact is just that, a fact. It's an event. It's what happened.
Without any emotional element or meaning attached to it, it's
neutral. It just IS. All of these are simply facts...
Examples of Facts or Events:
B is what the meaning we "make
up", or attach to A, the fact or event. The B isn't grounded
in reality. It comes out of out mind. What we "make up"
ranges from "good to bad". Sometimes we'll "logically
deduce" this HAS to be the meaning. Don't be so quick to
assume. ASSUME......it makes an ASS of U and ME.
Examples of "Made Up Stuff":
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