Relationships in the New Age is an eight week series.

• Part 1: Introduction to relationships in the new age
• Part II: Relationships as mirrors
• Part III: The cooperative love of karma
• Part IV: Soul relationships
• Part V: Partnering with your higher self
• Part VI: Conscious, co-creative relationships
• Part VII: Attracting relationships
• Part VIII: Assisting others

Part VI: Conscious, co-creative relationships

by Michael Jorgensen

The love you experience in one another's company continues to grow and expand, and seems limitless. It extends outward to your friends, family, acquaintances, and strangers. All that you perceive and touch becomes infused with the energy of love. Every cell of your body is filled with joy, peace and aliveness.

One day you awaken, look in the mirror, and are startled to see your partner gazing back at you. You realize your partner is merely a reflection of you. You no longer know where you or your partner begins and ends. You have become one. But this is only the beginning. As your awareness continues to expand, you begin to realize that all that you see, interact with, and experience are simply reflections of your self. You are a part ofall that is, and you are complete.

With this kind of relationship with your higher self, there is no need for a relationship with someone else. You are already in the relationship you have always dreamed of, and you are your own best friend. This is the core difference between old energy relationships and new energy relationships. Relationships with others are no longer based on need or an inner lack, but are based on an inner wholeness.

In the higher energy of this new age, you are on a journey of ascendance, whether or not you are aware of it. And the journey is brilliantly directed by source to ensure that we learn to depend upon and deeply trust our higher self. No longer do the old energy ways work for you — they cause drama, conflict and unhappiness. Instead you must turn to the power of your inner self for all that you need, and awaken to your completeness.

The journey to wholeness

The journey to partnering with your higher self and wholeness, is not a single lane, one-way road, but a complex, crisscrossing series of interconnected freeways, undergoing construction and repair, with detours, underpasses, and exits. On your journey you may become unsure that you are going in the right direction, and loop back to make sure you have gone the right way. You may need to spend time at a rest stop before continuing, or travel for days without feeling like you are making any headway. But if you stay on the road, you eventually get closer to your destination, at times glimpsing it in the near distance or seeing its shimmering lights reflected in the evening sky.

At the beginning of the journey, you are excited, but also a little lonely and scared, because you often leave behind your families and friends, your comfortable homes and livelihoods. But you know you have to go forward or else you will not survive emotionally and spiritually. Along the way you pick up hitchhikers and meet fellow travelers, which come along with you for part of the ride, and provide you with company and insights. Sometimes deep relationships are built very quickly, but eventually you must say good bye, because their journey with you ends, and they must go their own way. At first you suffer from the loss of these friendships, and you grieve the parting of ways. You experience deep loneliness and heartache. But overtime you no longer form the same attachments to friendships and relationships that you once did, because you know these are only temporary. And during the long stretches of road where there is no one but yourself to keep you company or give you direction, you learn to hear your inner voice and guidance. You become comfortable with your own company. Occasionally a fellow traveler tries to convince you to go with them, but you have come to know your own destination and do not allow anyone to take you off your path. Other fellow travelers, not so used to keeping their own company, try to create drama and trigger your fears about journeying alone, but you pull over and gently let them out of the car, and ask them to go in peace.

At some point, you realize that you are not journeying alone, and never have been. You have always had the company and guidance of your inner, higher self, and have learned to travel comfortably and in harmony with it. You realize this inner partnership has given you perfect direction the whole way, whenever you have listened, and provided you with everything you wanted and desired. You feel compassionate sadness for fellow travelers that have not yet learned this truth. But you realize that all you can do is share with them your knowledge, and allow them to make their own choices.

One day you wake up to realize that you are no longer focused on your destination, but are living in the present, enjoying the drive and the journey. You are already where you need to be. You have arrived.

No expectations

In new age relationships, there is no destination. You have no expectations as to where the relationship should go, how long it should last, who it should be with, or how it should look. You have no need to control its direction, because you have learned that the destination — the end result — is not important. It is enjoying the present experience of the journey. You are also not worried about the future of the relationship, because you know that your future will be full of joy and blessings. There will always be people in your life to love and share your journey. Having learned to rely on your inner guidance has taught you to trust that the future takes care of itself, when you take care of yourself.

Fulfilling your own needs

In old energy relationships you attempted to calm your fears, and give yourself a sense of security by being in relationship with someone else. You expected the other person to fulfill you, make you happy, and provide you with all that you believed was lacking in you and your life. When you were fearful and lacking peace you turned to the other person to give it to you. If your relationship didn't provide whatever you lacked, you attempted to get it through the controlling behaviors and manipulative games.

In new energy relationships, whenever you need something, you turn to your higher self, and ask for what it is you need or desire. You do not look for it in others. It does not exist in someone else or somewhere else. If you need comfort and inner peace, you seek it in meditation and connection with your higher self. If you need answers and reassurance, you turn to your higher self. If you desire companionship, new opportunities, talents, abilities or some material possession — you turn inward, and find it within. You give yourself ample time and space to deal with your own feelings, and never blame or project them, or your needs, onto others. Just as you do this for yourself, you give it to another.

No more falling in love

In new age romantic relationships, you may at first feel disoriented, because you no longer 'fall' in love. The experience of falling in love - when you get giddy and delerious, obsess about the other person, feel as though you are high, cannot wait to see one another again, find things in common to prove that 'this is the one', suddenly find new meaning and purpose to life, hang on to the other's every word and glance, begin planning your life together, and lose your sense of self — is vanquished. This experience is not love, but attachment. It arises from the ego's belief that you have met someone who will fulfill your every need and make you whole. It comes from low self worth — if someone is in love with you then you must be lovable. Falling in love is drama at its highest intensity — it involves the anxiety of loss, rejection and abandonment, and the ecstasy of inner fulfillment and wholeness. It is a conditional love, that requires the other to fulfill your needs, and if they don't, you will punish them by rejecting them and withdrawing your love, until they give you want you want. Its foundation is based on false beliefs.

Instead, meeting someone who mirrors your self love is a gentle, peaceful, and quietly joyful experience. You retain your sense of self, stay on your path, and are truly able to love because you do not need anything from the other.

You set and honor boundaries

You do not take on your friend or partner's issues, or attempt to fulfill their needs. You give him or her space, and the support and encouragement to find what they need within themselves. You do not allow one another to become dependent on the other, emotionally, spiritually or physically. If your friend or partner needs space to process their feelings and meet their own needs, you give it freely and joyfully, without feeling abandoned or rejected.

You know where you and your partner begin and ends. You understand that setting boundaries is a way that you and others may honor and love oneself. You set boundaries, and respect and honor the boundaries of others.

There is no compromise

There exists in old energy relationships the belief the each person must compromise their own needs and desires, in order to live harmoniously with the other. Each person ends up getting only half of what they wanted in these situations. In new age relationships, each person fulfills their own needs, without compromise. Each person supports and encourages the other to do so, because each person is responsible for themselves. If you are guided by your higher self in a direction that your partner or friend does not feel is their direction, you do not give up your calling — you support and encourage the other to follow it. You do not need to cling on to one another in the belief that you need each other in order to be whole. If being together serves one another's highest good, then circumstances shall unfold to make it happen.

Because you realize the sacredness of your journey, and honor your purpose and meaning, you also honor, support and encourage the purpose of your partner and others. You never hold another back from achieving their dreams or acting on their passion and liveliness.

Conscious, co-creation

In new age relationships, you take responsibility for whatever happens to you, and do not buy into the belief that you are at the mercy of others or a victim. Because of the partnership you have with your higher self, you develop awareness of how you create your own reality. As the veil thins, all that is unconscious in you becomes conscious. The guidance of your higher self reveals to you how your beliefs and feelings become actualized, and you learn to use this knowledge to empower and benefit yourself.

Each morning you align yourself with divine will, by acknowledging with gratitude your relationship with your higher self. When you do so, all your actions and desires are holy and in perfect alignment with the universe. When you interact with others, you do so in alignment with divine will. When you desire something, your request is sacred, and given to you in perfect timing. You and your higher self work in perfect cooperation to create heaven on earth.

Your relationships are reflections of the divine relationship with your higher self. The purpose and meaning of your relationships unfold, moment by moment, guided by your higher self. Just as you take responsibility for the image you hold of yourself, you are responsible for the image you hold of others. Whenever you begin to blame, feel angry, or hold a less than loving image of another in your mind you take steps to correct this, turn to your higher self and reflect upon what this is mirroring for you. Your relationships exist to create heaven on earth through the dynamics of your interactions. Your eyes open to the divinity of others, and thereby enable others to experience themselves as divine. This is the conscious, co-creative principle of new age relationships.

 

Conscious, Co-Creative Relationships – a new paradigm It's based upon mutuality, harmony and cooperation It's not complementary in nature There are few karmic issues or triggers There is little drama You take care of your own feelings, triggers and issues You do not need anything from each other You respect one another's boundaries You do not 'fall' in love You do not compromise You encourage the other to follow his or her path You maintain your sense of self There are no expectations There is no attachment, neediness, or longing Your relationship is aligned with divine will You see the divinity in the other

Read the Previous Articles In This Series