Tsari's reference to transition is what others refer to as death. This was a gentle way of broaching a tender subject matter between my parents. I had known for some time that my mom would be passing soon. However, my father was clearly in denial about the situation. Tsari's conversation opened them up to the topic, and also gave them some new guidelines for working with spirit. That conversation proved to be a gentle way of opening a very difficult door for both of them.

        At mom's request, I began teaching her how to work more with her guides. Mom had been sensing a spirit presence around and was trying to develop a stronger communication with it. However, there was some fear on her part. Accepting the invisible presence of spirit can open up fears and illusions to be released. I tuned into mom's guide and saw a beautiful male spirit that loved her dearly. He held his hand out to her with the purest love, and spoke to me via telepathy and imagery.

        "He says he touches you lightly, like on the shoulder, or on your hand?"

        "Well, yes! Yesterday I felt a touch on my hand when I was sitting at the table."

        "You don't have to try so hard," I smiled at mom. "Just acknowledge when you feel him around, and let it develop from there."

        "Do you see him?" she asked.

        "Oh yes," I smiled. I knew indeed who it was, yet I did not want to startle her.

        "Who?"

        "Well, he reminds me of Kent. You know, your friend and dad's from years ago." He was an old family friend from a time when my parents were more socially active, and their daughters but wee little girls who liked to steal the meatballs from the hibachi pot. I remembered once sitting on his knee at a party.

        "But he's not dead! I would know if he had passed over," mom said.

        "He doesn't have to be dead. It could be his Higher Self assisting you." In fact, I had no clue if he was still on this Earth plane or not, but I sensed he was. Kent's Higher Self presence was absolute Love and radiant Light, and was here to assist her because of that sincere devotion.

        "But how can that be?" Mom was almost alarmed, and I did not understand why.

        "Well," I began, asking this guide to help me to convey the message mom needed to hear. "Our spirits are vast, and we sometimes have soul connections with others. Kind of like family member connections. We don't always understand them from our human viewpoint. Obviously, he is someone who cares a lot for you and only wants to help you at this time. I don't sense anything to fear from this, and there are no expectations from him. He simply is here because he loves you and wants to help you at this time."

        I felt great love from this spirit for mom. It mirrored the kind of love I had experienced with a special spirit I knew as Wind Walker, my twin soul. Absolute and unconditional. Mom was put at ease knowing that the presence she had been feeling was someone she knew.

        Weeks came and passed. My parents had come to the gentle realization that the phrase "transition" really meant passing over, and they began talking to each other more openly about it. Mom was now having numerous spirit visitations and contacts. She would suddenly feel uplifted, or more joyous, and recognize that her spirit friend was there. A gentle breeze carrying tones of Divine Love would waft by her. An unexpected flash of color or light would pop into the room. She was quite excited and discussed many questions during our weekly phone conversations.

        Mom was ill from a long-term bout with emphysema after years of smoking. She was on oxygen, and her health had been declining rapidly. Dad had taken on many of the household responsibilities, as well as attending to many of her needs, and was much more of a caretaker than any of his daughters had realized. They kept much of the knowledge of mom's illness cloaked and to themselves, seeking to suffer in private, I guess. Oh, we all knew mom was quite ill. It was the severity and just how much dad was having to do for her that they kept hidden.

        Dad was of the mindset of praying for a miracle and always held hope in his heart for his beloved wife. But mom was tired of the battle, worn out from the illness. I felt and saw this each time I was with her now, but I did not let on to my dad how mom felt. That was up to mom to convey to him. I was just grateful to be able to assist my parents in this way, and that they were open to receiving the assistance through the veils. I did not know then just how soon the transition was to take place.

        It was Thanksgiving day, 1996. Many family members had gathered from across the state. Most knew that mom had not been feeling well, and that this was her favorite holiday. There seemed to be an unspoken theme in everyone's hearts that this year was for mom, and everyone seemed to want to make this holiday special for her. My sister Lee had prepared a special feast at her home, and while we were making final preparations, the phone rang.

        It was dad. Mom had not been able to get herself out of the bathroom for over an hour, and dad was now frightened and worried. "I think she's about to pass on. You better get over here."

        Lee and I dropped everything, leaving the dinner arrangements in the hands of the others. We arrived at our parent's house to find mom held lovingly in dad's arms while they sat on the couch, tears running down his face. Mom was kind of out of it, but began rousing herself when she saw us there.

        "I am ready to move on," she said. "I want to go."

        Dad burst into tears. "Oh no honey! Don't say that!" he sobbed, and then clutched her harder. He truly had not realized she was ready.

        It was hard for her to talk. "What is the word they use for people who can't remember? You know, old people?"

        "Alzheimer's," Lee said.

        "Yes," mom said. It took her a few more minutes to catch her breath, corral her thoughts and continue on. "I am so afraid of that, and I don't want that to happen to me."

        "She was really out of it earlier," dad said, a little calmer now. "I don't think she recognized me, and I couldn't get her to understand what I was saying. She just sat there in front of the make up mirror, out of it." This was the first time mom had lost her connection with 3D.

        For Lee, death simply was unacceptable. Death was an unreal and erroneous manifestation of error.

        To dad, death was a doorway that would soon separate him from his beloved. He wasn't afraid of death. He knew her spirit was immortal. He was afraid of living without her. Living alone. They had not been separated for more than a few hours in over 15 years, and had just celebrated their 48th wedding anniversary. They still lived in the house they had raised all the kids in. He had absolutely no idea how to live without her.

        To me, death was a personal choice and a gift we were each given free will to choose. I felt like this experience was different for me, because I feel no separation from the other side. I'd always seen through the veils. I knew where mom was going and my heart burst with love for her. It was only the physical body that would be disappearing from view.

        To mom, death was freedom; simply a passing through a veil that seemed to be swirling all around her now. A magnetic energy of pure and total love awaited her on the other side. She'd seen the source of that love just a couple of hours ago; was told it would be okay for the family, and she could come home now. She was holding on tentatively, feeling the desire to depart so strongly and hoping she'd be able to get out all the words she wanted to say before she left. She was most worried about her husband. She knew just how horribly difficult it would be for him.

        She wanted approval from everyone. She wanted to be told it was okay if she went on. She needed to know that no one would hold her back. But most of all, she wanted forgiveness from her daughter, Lee, for taking care of her own body so horribly and allowing herself to become so ill. She did not voice it then, but later told me in spirit that this was the issue to be healed between them.

        She had suffered tremendous guilt and shame in dealing with her illness, knowing full well it was all self-inflicted. She had followed Christian Science for years, and had received many healings herself, so she fully knew the power of Mind over Matter. Because of this, a barrier of guilt was created between her and her daughter, for Lee was a Christian Science Practitioner. The acceptance and denial of mom's health had become an issue between them. Her own health had never been up to Lee, and she realized that fully now. Realized the power she had always had within her. The power of free will.

        Through many tears and hugs the family told her they accepted her choice, and let her know that indeed it was a choice only she could make. If this was what she wanted, they would not hold her back. Dad's worst fear was that somehow he would hold her back. The ultimate love: to let go of the one you love, absolutely and totally, because that is for their highest good. A difficult task at best.

        While dad and Lee made coffee in the kitchen, I sat holding mom's hand as she dozed. She awoke briefly and squeezed my hand. Still keeping her eyes closed, she said, "I always know who I'm with by the touch of their hand." I was to remember that later.

        As she lay resting, we gathered about her on the couch. There was a time when we felt as if she were going to pass right then and there. We held our breath and watched. Was this how she would go? Just like that? Could she really declare her intent like that and pass now? For a few minutes we thought so. Then it became funny as mom peeked her eyes open and saw all of us staring at her, waiting for her to die. Mom laughed. Everyone else giggled.

        "I guess it doesn't have to happen right now," she smiled, leaning back against her husband.

        Within the hour she perked up and began looking better. So much so, that we left for the day and I returned back to my mountain home several hours away. Who knew how long it would take for mom to pass? She had declared her intent, that's all we knew that day. Mom said she was ready to go. All we could do now was wait.

Myriah is a Universal Channel, Shaman, Writer, Artist and Hands-On Healing Practitioner. Her work with the Ancient Ones and the Beloved Mother Earth teaches of Oneness, Universal Love, and multi-dimensionality. Her work with her parents and husband through the veils teaches of after-death communication and the non-sense of death.