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I
HAD NO IDEA HOW COMPLETELY MY LIFE WOULD CHANGE. From that very
instant suspended in eternity a seed had begun to unfold within my awareness.
My first introduction to the power of the Course in Miracles
came when I was 12 years old. I curiously asked my father about it because
he seemed to be enchanted with it. In 1986 an awakening had begun to
shift his life through the practicing of the Course in Miracles.
I remember the radiance of the presence that was subtly supporting my
curiosity in the book. A gentle whisper to my heart, a powerfully silent
welcoming, and an invitation to the Atonement.
I stared at the book as it lay on the coffee table in the middle of
the room… then I picked it up. The bookmark was placed in the lesson
section so I turned to lesson one. Stillness ensued as I watched my
awareness melt into infinite peace so familiar, and natural. The experience
was of an obviously reality, a state, brought about by the lesson, by
the Teacher, a view different from what the world had shown me up until
that point. 365 lessons, one for each day, to re-write the programs,
judgements and beliefs we have accepted as our reality…how beautiful.
Maybe it is because it is so natural and familiar that we forget this
simple experience of reality, or maybe it is that we slip back into
the habitual programming that we have adopted from the world. Whatever
the reason I was soon to forget it and continue my life as if asleep
to reality, dreaming as we all do, a seeming endless fantasy of changing
images, thoughts, leading us in a maze of time. But thank God, reality
is real, so powerful that an instant of Eternity holds sway over all
ego beliefs in time. The mind may forget but the Heart does not ever
forget the Ascendant reality of the Holy Instant… full of Christ,
guided by Holy Spirit and lived in God.
Not worth reflecting on, the emotional ups and downs, fearful idols,
painful thoughts, complex ideas and dramatic displays continued as time
went on. Fleeting glimpses of peace between the dancing images on the
screen of the ascendant. The atonement… waiting… then began
to have more pull as my Heart lost interest in useless pursuits and
began searching for lasting peace. I could no longer deny my Self, nor
live in this world; life seemed to crash into me making it extremely
difficult to live in any sane way. In a moment of confusion, questioning
my sanity, I was moved into the course where the answer was plain. My
sanity was in the Ascendant (whatever that was)…in the atonement.
My perception had begun to be more refined, more clarity of thought
as I recognized, I will never be full of Heart until I permanently experience
reality… perfect peace.
As my perception of reality became clearer, and the bridge to heaven
closer my mind became more frustrated, my concepts, thinking and perceptions
of reality could not bring me any peace. Engaging the ego for so long
as a means for salvation and ironically to unite with Christ had failed.
(Failure from the ego’s point of view is success in terms of awakening).
Feeling like a failure, wasting years, striving for the truth, for enlightenment,
for peace, I gave up, holding nothing. Feeling crushed and defeated
having to face the humility of not knowing anything and not being able
to find peace or even have the ability to help a single person reach
any lasting peace, I surrendered. In one holy instant, I embraced the
Atonement; rather the Holy Spirit embraced it for me. Unknowing, like
a baby, in Innocence giving up all concepts, thoughts, opinions as my
Heart cried out in silence… If there is a God…help, I can’t
do it, I don’t know how. Trust…
The door again opened, just for a sweet instant, as if a second before
I was 12 again having the same eternal experience. As if Christ had
been walking beside me through all my life waiting for my mind to cease
its illusion for a split second so the Holy Spirit could reveal the
eternal divine nature and resting I could receive the gifts of the Kingdom
from the infinite Ascendant.
Then again, eclipsed by habit. I moved on in life, a little less arrogant,
more open to guidance from the Universe.
Then it happened. Rolled up in a perfect package, with a beautiful bow
I received a gift, too good to be true, the kind of infinite Good that
we all sense can be true but don’t really believe is true. Fortunately
belief is not required and has nothing to do with reality. Truth is
True, an eternal kingdom this instant, A door open for all, an ever-present
path through the door into the Kingdom of Heaven. A path that is so
easy and simple that it is overlooked with our complex minds. With Joy
I was told about the Ishayas’ Ascension. Ishaya means for Christ
Consciousness.
After learning the Ishayas’ Ascension, I entered through the Door
to Everything, to the Holy Instant, to the Atonement. The Course in
Miracles is written from the Ascendant to the Ascendant about the Ascendant
for the Ascendant in the Ascendant. Ascendant meaning the forth State
of Consciousness and like a door it leads into the Holy Instant of Atonement,
to Christ, the Holy Spirit and to God. The author of the course writes
to our true nature as a higher state of consciousness, it is written
directly to the Christ! It is from that level of our awareness that
we resonate with what the course teaches us. It is from that infinite
space that we become mirrors of the Christ, we become Ishayas’
(for Christ) and for Christ we become open doors into Perpetual Peace
and an infinite expanding presence.
Now being able to enter the door as a choice on my part I began to ascend
all limitations, all ego dynamics, and false idols. PRAISE, GRATITUDE,
and LOVE are the steps with which these Attitudes ascend. An ever Ascending
stairway into Heaven and reality describes the mechanical techniques
of Ascension. Why Mechanical? Because this is a True teaching, the techniques
are directed into the Atonement; they are from the door. There is no
beating around the bush, no indirect long and twisted path… that
is for the ego and the ego wants to change who we are. We cannot change
who we are because God created us. We can only delay our Peace. That
is why the techniques are direct and mechanical, they don’t waste
time because they are eternal statements of truth and God doesn’t
believe in time. They are eternally present and interwoven into fabric
of creation.
Ascending is an effortless rising beyond of limitation to experience
the Atonement any time we introduce the Ascension Attitude. Continued
Ascension results in the experience of perpetual perfection and awareness
of the Holy Instant. Finally dissolving all barriers, illusions, separation,
as the Door expands, our awareness becomes infinity expressed in the
Ascendant, which constitutes an experience of infinite unity, forever
unfolding… in perfection… in BLISS.
© 2003
Paramananda
Ishaya
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