I WAS IN the riding arena with 'Arania,' a sensitive young Spanish mare. I have worked on the ground beside her until there is calmness and trust between us, as I had done with many young horses before her. But at some point I would have to go to a place where no other human has ever gone before, and that is on this horse's back for the very first time.

How and when I chose to sit on her for the first time mattered as much to her as it did to me. If I did it at the wrong time or in the wrong way she might be afraid of being ridden for a long time, and I might end up getting badly hurt. For a human to climb onto a horse's back for the first time is contrary to the instincts of both creatures. The horse is a prey animal, so allowing a predator such as a human to climb on him or her is akin to a zebra allowing a lion to climb on its back. The human is equally vulnerable: giving up his connection with the ground means risking his survival.

People rightly say that horse whispering has a lot to do with body language: horses communicate mostly with their bodies. This is true, but as my work with horses went deeper, I realised that my own body, as well as the horse's, was a source of much information and more than just by external physical movements. Working with unbroken horses showed me that the internal state of the body and its surrounding energy field tells us how others feel. It also tells us how we feel and what the right course of action to take is. What was amazing about this realization was that if I listened to my body, it never lied.

So how could I know when and how it was right to ride Arania for the first time? Experience has taught me that if I listen well enough to my body, I can trust that it will guide me to do what is right. If I notice my heart beat faster than normal, my legs feel shaky or my throat is dry, then it is probably not ok to ride the horse, because the horse will sense my fear and become afraid too. On the other hand, if my body feels completely peaceful inside and out, then it is probably ok to climb on the horse's back. All of the countless times I have backed (ridden) young horses for the first time when my body told me it was ok, it has been a peaceful, stress-free experience for me and the horses. When my body said it wasn't ok and for one reason or another I didn't listen, I have frightened the young horse and taken the consequences by being hurt myself.

With Arania on that particular day, my body and my breathing were calm and unflustered by the idea of sitting upon her for the first time. I stroked her neck and back where I intended to sit. She was intrigued and watched me trustingly out of her left eye. I hopped up and down by her side a few times and then over her back so that I lay with my belly across her sideways. She shifted her feet around a little to readjust her balance under my unfamiliar weight, but didn't move off. I continued stroking her neck for a minute or so, and then slowly swung my right leg over her back until I was astride her, quietly raising my torso to sit up bareback on this beautiful horse for the first time.

I could feel her slow breath and the warmth of her body underneath me. In that position, both the horse and I were totally trusting and totally vulnerable. I stroked her neck again and looked ahead between her ears out at the world from a place where no-one had ever looked: from upon her back. The level of mutual trust and the sacredness of the moment we shared made my chest want to explode with joy.

Secret Three:
Trust your Body

People-Whisperers know that your body is one of the greatest allies you can have. They are aware that your body is an integral and physical manifestation of who you are and that it constantly guides you towards the right course of action.

Our bodies give us constant, moment to moment feedback about how we feel, what we think and the way we are interacting with our environment and the people in it. Unfortunately, we only really listen to our bodies when they start giving us information we cannot ignore, normally in the form of aches, pains, disease, bursts of joy or sexual excitement. The rest of the time our bodies are doing their best to tell us what is going on but we rarely listen.

Your body is a part of who you are and
is always looking out for you;
it whispers information that will guide you,
if you are able to listen.

What is Your Body Telling You?
Trusting your body, and listening to the whispers of information it is giving you, is a key part of communicating with yourself. Every cell in your body reflects your thoughts and emotions: it is a fabulous source of information about what is happening in your life and how you feel about the people around you. Your body effectively carries a blueprint of all you have ever thought, felt or experienced.

Feedback is being given to you by your body in every single exchange you have with other people. This information can help you to find your way through life and guide you to interact with the right people in the right way, for your benefit and theirs. The information your body gives you can act like an early warning radar, helping you to avoid situations, people or relationships that may become too hazardous or difficult.

Like the skin of a chameleon that changes color in response to its environment, your body changes in response to your environment. Have you ever noticed how some people make you feel 'uncomfortable' and others make you feel 'comfortable'? This is an example of your body giving you feedback. Other ways your body gives you feedback are by telling you what types of food are right for you or what exercise is appropriate.

The Body Does Not Lie
Unlike our minds and our mouths, which can lie even to us, the body responds at a deeper and more honest level. You may tell yourself, for example, that you don't feel anxious about discussing a particular subject with someone, but your body will know the truth and have the 'butterflies' regardless of what your mind says. It is important to realize that your body is giving you feedback the whole time, not just in major situations. The different ways your body reacts are often very subtle, but if you are aware of those reactions, you can use the information to guide your communications with other people.

Tune in to Your Body
Every single thought creates a reaction in your body. To become aware of this, sit comfortably and quietly with your eyes closed and think of someone or something that you find really relaxing and peaceful. Feel how your body softens and relaxes, your heart slows, your stomach lets go. Now think of a person or situation you have to face that is scary or challenging... what happens to your body?

Acknowledging the Feeling
Noticing your body's reactions and acknowledging the messages will help you to manage situations better.

If you give your body your attention as though you are an interested onlooker, you take some of the power out of your reaction. By paying attention and trusting your body, you gain more control over situations, and then have a choice of whether to respond or react.

If your body has to scream at you before you take notice of it, the state it is in will make the situation worse, by making you more tense, angry or frightened, for example.

If you listen to your body when you are with other people,
It will tell you a great deal about them.
It may tell you whether they are being honest or not.

Things to do:

1. Stop reading for a moment and scan your attention down through your body: start with your head: how does your scalp, jaw and tongue feel? Now check your neck, shoulders, guts, lower spine, seat, legs and arms. Are there any pockets of tension that you hadn't been aware of? Can you release them?
2. Sit comfortably and quietly and think of a person or situation you are really anxious or frightened about. Listen to what your body tells you, even in response to merely thinking about the person or situation. Repeat this process until you can think vividly about the person or situation without your body reacting at all.
3. Allow your body to be really relaxed and then think in depth about various people in your life, one at a time. See what your body tells you in response to thoughts about different people.
4. See if you can become aware of your whole body as a complete entity. Stay with this for a moment and be aware of how it feels.
5. Next time you are talking to someone, bring your awareness into your body while the conversation is happening: scan through it to see what it is doing or feeling.

The Power in Your Body
Your external body language expresses messages to others, but what can make those expressions really powerful is if your internal emotional 'state' matches your external body language. When you feel the same inside as your body shows outside, your communication becomes highly expressive and focused.

Your body is most powerful when it is fully aligned with your thoughts, intentions and emotions. Your actions become highly effective and your body becomes a fantastic tool for expression, so you can give apparently tiny signals and get big results. It follows that when your body is not aligned with the rest of you, even performing huge effortful actions with your body have little or no effect.

When you speak with alignment,
your body
naturally supports your message.

In the first three Secrets of the People Whisperer, you have discovered how you communicate with yourself through your thoughts and emotions and by being who you really are. You have seen what a great ally and source of information your body is and you have looked at how other people's bodies communicate with you in various ways. In the next four secrets, you will gain insights into developing your relationships and loving communications with the people in your life.

© Perry Wood, 2006
To inquire about purchasing this book please click here,
or on the cover image to the left.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Perry Wood is a groundbreaking coach, workshop leader, horseman, musician and author. He is also a devotee of Kryia Yoga and has combined his spiritual outlook with the communication skills he developed from horse whispering to create 'People Whispering'. Now a recognised authority on communication, he regularly appears in the national media, including network TV, and is asked to contribute to leading magazines and newspapers. Perry works with individuals, groups, and couples on life and relationship issues, as well as senior executives in corporations on communication and leadership skills.

Perry is the author of Secrets of the People Whisperer and a number of equestrian titles, including the widely acclaimed Real Riding. He is also a composer of relaxation and healing music, with three releases on the New World Music label. To find out more about Perry, visit his website.