Sex, Tantra, and the Internet-
Is Anything Sacred?

By Robert Frey, MA

West merges east and modern embraces ancient yet humanity as a whole has not solved the conundrum of sex. Westerners, especially American, still have not achieved a comfort level with sex that enables us to access the Spirituality that is a natural component of sexual practice. The advent of the explosive growth of the Internet has not moved us any closer to this level of comfort. The "net" has provided perhaps the easiest and fastest access to sexual material and even contacts but has failed thus far to embrace the sacredness of sex. The ancient practice of the knowledge and skills of Tantra has been around in the west for decades and enjoys a rising popularity for the balanced and healthy practice of sexuality and yet has not become mainstream. Is there a way to join Tantra and the Internet and create a truly beneficial evolution of western sexuality? Let us see.

With the renewed public interest (and at times obsession) in sexuality and the media's willingness to openly feed that interest via music, movies, videos, and TV, discussion of sexuality has also become increasingly public and visible. The younger generations (Gen X and Y) as well as yuppies are becoming increasingly technology savvy and spending considerable time watching TV and surfing the Web, often to view soft porn, suggestive, or explicit adult material. They are fueling the spread of this latest sexual revolution.

However many Westerners are now also searching to create more contact and nurturing in a fast-paced, technological culture that fosters separation and loneliness. Often they ironically turn to TV and the Web for that contact. Note: the many new relationship oriented talk shows, such as, "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus," and the huge success of "Friends" and "Ali McBeal," as well as the increasing openness about sex and relationships on TV in general. Also note the huge success of 'reality based' TV and viewers' fascination with hit voyeur shows such as "Survivor," "Big Brother," "Real World," and "Road Rules." Curiosity about the sexual habits of the stars of all these programs has been a popular topic. Voyeur websites, including explicit adult voyeur sites, are equally big on the Internet, ranking among the most-visited sites on the entire Web.

The phenomenal growth of the Internet has fueled and helped facilitate the current sexual revolution, making it easier than ever for lonely and sexually focused people to find stimulation. Internet traffic is doubling every 100 days, yielding a yearly growth rate of more than 700 percent, and the Internet is growing faster than all other technologies that have preceded it. Radio existed 38 years before it had 50 million listeners, and television took 13 years to reach the mark. The Internet reached the 100 million mark in just about four years. Much of the growth of the Internet is due to the "adult" sector, where there are thousands of websites and enormous traffic. Plus, most of the technological innovations for website design and function were developed by web teams for adult websites.

By the year 2003, Forrester Research predicts that e-commerce will hit the $395 billion mark. A recent study claims that adult e-commerce raked in as much as $1 billion in 1998. That's one-tenth of the total e-commerce. With profitability for some of the most successful portals of adult entertainment as high as 30 percent, adult entertainment continues to be one of the few online enterprises that actually sees green.

Unfortunately, as awareness of Tantra has spread into the adult industry, as well as the pop, techno, and yuppie cultures, the ancient teachings have been altered by modern Western cultural filters such as profit motive, me first, instant gratification, and sex obsession. The sad result is that Tantra has become severely misidentified and misinterpreted. Originally, sex was a small part of Tantra. Now it's the only thing that many Americans think of when they hear the word Tantra. Originally the emphasis was TANTRIC sex; now in the West it has become Tantric SEX. The essential elements of ancient authentic Tantra (meditation, daily practice, the philosophy and spiritual context, etc.) have taken a back seat to the sexual practices (for profit and/or gratification), and people are interested only in becoming a better, if not a "hot," lover. The media, including magazines, TV, and especially the Internet have had a lot to do with this misrepresentation, to the degree that erotic strippers, prostitutes, and sensual massage women /girls use Tantric terminology in their advertising on the Web, claiming to offer 'Tantric experiences'.

Clearly, adult sites, interactive sites, and voyeur sites are increasingly popular, and they respond to both the popular obsession with sex, the unconscious need for sexual healing, and to the widespread need for contact, interaction, inclusion, and involvement. However it seems likely that what is currently being offered via TV and the web is much less capable of satisfying these needs than the true, authentic arts of Sacred Sexuality and Tantra. Perhaps once the vast number of people (who are both obsessed with sex and also hungering for more contact, relationship, and interaction in their lives) become aware of what the arts of Sacred Sexuality and Tantra can offer them, the popularity of a truly sacred Sex could expand. TV and the Web are a potential media for introducing this awareness to this ready audience; they are already able to reach and appeal to people of all locations, demographics, and income levels.

Several questions arise. Can and will the media include the sacred in Sacred Sexuality and the spiritual in Tantra? Is the general public open to and ready for a level of Sacred Sexuality that goes beyond their need for sexual healing and their desires for new, exotic sexual "kicks?" Or will the spiritual and sacred continue to be left out and the public offered a 'pop Tantra', a 'hot tub Tantra', because the media believes that's what will sell.

Meanwhile, taught primarily in workshops and retreats, the methods and techniques of Tantra and Sacred Sexuality are proving to be effective, enjoyable remedies for many of the relationship and sexual issues that pain Westerners. In addition to the awakening of consciousness that was originally intended with ancient Tantra, a great deal of sexual healing is taking place, and that good news is spreading. Thus in the twenty years since Tantra and the Kama Sutra first became publicly known in America and Europe, the interest has grown exponentially, and that growth continues to accelerate. It seems inevitable that Tantra will soon become a household word in the West. Most people want what works, especially what will bring more love, pleasure, joy, and harmony into their lives, particularly their love life. Pop Tantra may temporarily satisfy the sexually obsessed and assist in some degree of sexual healing, yet authentic Tantra and Sacred Sexuality can provide much more for those who are seeking a deeper, more profound experience of their sacred energies and consciousness. Increasingly, more people are becoming aware of the misrepresentation of Tantra and are advocating for an authentic presentation of the spiritual and sacred essence of the path. It is clear that the new sexual revolution is cutting across nearly all major cultures and ethnic groups, especially among the younger generations. The Sacred Sexuality renaissance, however, is thus far a small proportion of the revolution, and is primarily a Caucasian phenomenon, identifiable among the Yuppie generation and younger. Because the issues confronting individuals and couples in our modern society can be very different from predominant issues of ancient cultures where Tantra and the Kama Sutra emerged, Sacred Sex, Tantra, and Tantric practices have had to evolve.

Whether someone is seeking to develop a personal integration of spirituality and sexuality, rekindle the spark in a marriage or relationship, open blocks to feeling and enjoying sensuality, or support the healing of traumas of the past, Tantra and Sacred Sexuality have much to offer. The lovemaking arts of the Kama Sutra and the energy sharing intimate practices of Tantra are timeless and are as useful and applicable today as in ancient times. Blended with contemporary music and technology, as well as contemporary relationship psychology, these ancient arts offer new ways to create exciting rituals and fulfilling sex for modern lovers and carry individuals and couples further along their spiritual journey.

PlanetLightworker is pleased to announce that Robert Frey will be writing a series of articles for us beginning in 2001 in which he will explore, explain, and interpret Tantra for our readers. We invite you to look for his articles in the near future.

Robert Frey, MA, PhD (candidate, Psychology) has been teaching Tantric practices and meditations and Sacred Sexuality since 1979 and has presented many hundreds of events, seminars, conferences, and retreats about Tantra, Sacred Sexuality, Relationships, meditation, and related topics, such as Inner Male/Inner Female, male sexual health, Inner child healing, etc. He has been involved with Science of Mind, Vipassana Insight Meditation, and Sufi Dancing since the mid '70's. Robert has extensive training and practice in yoga, various meditation methods,Tai Chi, movement therapy, Bioenergetics, wholistic health, NLP, hypnotherapy, psychology, and various counseling approaches.

He has published many articles, is a columnist for Tantra Magazine, and is the on-camera host of the highly successful video "Ancient Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy". He is also a popular recording spiritual singer/songwriter and is well known for his style of leading Sufi dance circles and devotional singing. Robert has a private counseling practice, offers counseling/coaching by phone, and occasionally appears on radio and TV. Visit his website at www.sacredtantra.com for more information and his calendar of workshops and retreats. E-mail Robert here, or call 818-784-0110.