HAVING A HANDICAPPED CHILD is one of the most heartbreaking challenges one can face. Beyond the desire for their children to be happy and healthy, parents naturally want them to have better lives than they themselves had. When a child is born with or later develops a handicap, there is often anger at the universe. Why, we wonder, would this to happen to an innocent child? Parents who give birth to a handicapped child may also blame the partner or themselves for "faulty" genes. Their anguish is profound.

When I decided to research this life challenge from the perspective of the parent, new questions arose. If some souls planned to be handicapped from birth, presumably they would coordinate their life blueprints with their parents'. Do souls, then, actually agree to be the parents of handicapped children? If they do make such plans, do they desire the experience or is it more of an acquiescence to another soul's planning? If the former, what does the experience offer that will make such suffering worthwhile from the perspective of the soul?

Jennifer Stewart's Story
"I know that I was chosen for my benefit and their benefit," Jennifer said about being the mother of three children, two of whom are handicapped. She spoke with utter conviction.

"My son, Ryan, is sixteen. He has Asperger's Syndrome. That's a new name for what really is high-functioning autism. He also has bipolar disorder and ADD [Attention Deficit Disorder]. The bipolar, which did not manifest until he was a teenager, involves violent mood swings ranging from 'I'm happy, everything's wonderful' to 'I'm in the depths of Hell' as far as depression or raging anger.

"My younger son, Bradley, is eleven. He has much more severe, straight autism, and he is legally blind. He has a very rare condition with his eyes, ocular albinism, which is like being an albino except just in his eyes."

Jennifer has been divorced for seven years and is raising the boys on her own. She explained that children with Asperger's are often called "little professors" because they fixate on one or two special interests. With Ryan it's weather and politics. He adores his weather radio and corresponds daily by e-mail with a local TV weatherman. He also e-mails politicians regularly, giving them suggestions.

"I show him all the positive things," Jennifer told me. "I say, 'You have abilities nobody else has.' If you ask most people When was the last time you had your eyes examined?, they may say, 'I think it was last year.' My son could say, 'It was May 24th [of last year].' He's got that ability with dates,' she said proudly.

Like others with Asperger's, Ryan sometimes speaks in a monotone and avoids eye contact. As a result, other kids shun him. Recently, Jennifer took Ryan to see his therapist. "She asked if he had any friends. He said no. She asked if he had ever had any friends. He said no. That broke my heart," Jennifer said quietly.

Jennifer's son Bradley has a vocabulary of about twenty words. Until recently conversation was limited to yes or no questions. Bradley also communicates through sign language. Two years elapsed between the time Jennifer learned that Bradley was blind and the moment when he was diagnosed as autistic. "God gave us time to digest one thing before the next," Jennifer said. "I was always grateful for that."

When he was younger, Bradley threw violent temper tantrums, often banging his head against objects. He became particularly distraught when something unexpected occurred. If Jennifer went grocery shopping with Bradley, he had a tantrum if she returned to a previous aisle. The only way to prevent an outburst was to continue forward through every remaining aisle, then go back through each one in reverse order. Jennifer also found that she could not purchase gas with Bradley in the car. If she turned the ignition off, he thought they were getting out of the car. If they didn't, a tantrum ensued.

Like his brother, Bradley has an unusual ability. "Music is his talent," Jennifer said. "It's amazing. He can hear a song once or twice - 'Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star' or the Mickey Mouse Club song - and play it on a keyboard."

Jennifer told me that when she was first coming to terms with her boys' handicaps, she was afraid to cry.

"Why?" I asked.

"I thought, If I cry, I'll never stop."

"Jennifer, did you ever ask God why?"

"No, I never did because I knew there was a reason. Somehow, deep down somewhere, I must have known something about the autism. I took psychology in high school. They showed black-and-white films about autism. I was fascinated. Then I took psychology again in college and wrote a paper about autism. When I heard there was going to be a movie [Rain Man] about it, I couldn't wait. This was way before Bradley. Somehow, subconsciously, my soul was preparing me for it. I knew. Of all the things to be strangely interested in..."

"You mentioned you were chosen partly for your own benefit. What is the benefit to you?"

"Patience. I had to learn so much more patience. And I would not have met the fantastic parents I have met. The support group online. There are people, places, things I never would've gotten to know."

"What have you learned about yourself?"

"I always knew I was a strong person, but it just reaffirms that, Gee, Jennifer, you must be one tough cookie. Not only do I function, but I'm completely at peace. When my father, who is a worrier, will say, 'What's going to happen with Bradley or Ryan when you're dead?' I say, 'Dad, all we have is today.' The things people worry about usually don't happen."

I asked Jennifer to talk about her third child, Sarah, who is twenty-three. She told me that Sarah and Bradley look very much alike and that both have blond hair, even though no one else in the family is blond. They were also born on the same day. That "coincidence," which had no meaning for me at the time, would later prove to be significant in Jennifer's session with the medium.

"Sarah has always been crazy about them [Bradley and Ryan]," Jennifer said. "I tried to give each child attention, but it is difficult. Children that are 'normal' sometimes get the short end of the attention stick. I've asked her. She says, 'No, I never felt resentful. I always knew they needed your attention.'" As Jennifer and I would soon discover, Sarah's pre-birth planning explains her remarkably positive attitude.

Jennifer feels the attention she has shown her sons has made all the difference in the way they respond to their challenges. Bradley, for example, enjoyed a major breakthrough one year ago.

"He finally got his DynaVox, this talking device that's programmed," Jennifer said excitedly. "He tapped me on the shoulder as I was driving. He pushed the button that said 'fish.' Then he pushed the button for 'feed.' I thought, Oh my God, are we having a conversation? I asked if he wanted to feed our fish tonight. He said yes. I was like a kid in a candy store! I asked him all kinds of questions. 'What would you like for dinner tonight?' He pushed 'pizza.' We actually had a whole conversation! It was the first time."

Jennifer's Session with Corbie Mitleid
Prior to the session with medium Corbie Mitleid, I felt reasonably certain that Jennifer had planned her experience. I suspected that one or more of Jennifer's previous incarnations accounted for her apparently strong desire to be the parent of handicapped children. Had she not sought such an experience, she probably would not have two handicapped sons, and each probably would not have multiple physical challenges. Jennifer's early and at the time inexplicable interest in autism also hinted strongly at planning on the soul level.

Corbie began the session with her customary prayer. "Mother/Father/God, thank you for this profound opportunity for service today. Surround us with Your unconditional white light of love, protection, compassion, wisdom, and truth. Let only truth be spoken. Let only truth be heard. Let me be a clear mirror to bring Jennifer, Rob, Bradley, and Ryan the information they seek today. And may I remain always head, hand, and heart completely in Your service. In the name of the Christ this is done. Amen."

With those words Corbie had requested from Spirit the guidance we would need. She had also established our intent. On a spiritual level, intent is of great significance because it directs the flow of energy. By asking to be a "clear mirror," Corbie had in effect requested that the filter of her mind be minimized. Her intent was not to let personal inclinations color the information she would receive.

"Jennifer," Corbie began, "Spirit is showing me the 1930s. It's a newspaper office of people scurrying back and forth, papers in their hands, clackety-clack of typewriters. You are one of the people at the desk, one of the reporters. You were doing a story people did not want to hear. Primarily, you were receiving information about the Final Solution. There was frustration on your part. You were banging on every door, sitting in hallways for hours waiting for meetings that always got put off. But you knew that these people [Jews] had no voice and that you had to be the voice. You were banging on the American public, on Congress, on everything that you could to get people to finally realize what was happening. You were not Jewish. You could have ignored this and done well simply doing the society page, but you had a profound fear of being shoved away or not heard. So this was something you did for the entire world.

"You had connections in Europe. You were told about the camps being built, the disappearances, and what the Jews were really being put through, which the American public at that point wanted to stay blissfully unaware of. You shuttled between New York and Washington, D.C. quite often. Your offices were in New York. You were with one of the smaller, more independent, more feisty newspapers.

"You did what you could to get people in Washington to see what was happening, to offer some aid, raise our quotas for immigration, anything. But you were patted on the head and told, 'Yes, I'm sure. Europe's been around a long time. They can take it,' pretty much keeping you at arm's length. Nobody wanted to get involved. Nobody really believed that World War II was going to occur. Not yet."

You've just read a portion of Chapter 3: Parenting Handicapped Children in Courageous Souls: Do We Plan Our Life Challenges Before Birth? by Robert Schwartz. In the remainder of Jennifer's story, readers learn:

• More about how Jennifer's past life as a crusading journalist and communicator of truth prompted the souls of Ryan and Bradley to choose her as their mother.
• Why Ryan and Bradley chose the specific handicaps they have.
• Why Sarah planned to be part of the family.
• What was discussed in Jennifer's pre-birth planning session.
• How children are their parents' teachers.

© Robert Schwartz, 2007

Courageous Souls contains the stories of ten individuals who planned great challenges before birth for purposes of spiritual growth. These challenges are: physical illness, having handicapped children, deafness, blindness, drug addiction, alcoholism, losing a loved one, and severe accidents. Because very different life challenges are often planned for similar reasons, readers who have not faced these specific challenges will nevertheless see themselves - and their motivations as a soul - in these stories. As readers come to realize that they themselves planned their challenges, suffering that once seemed purposeless becomes imbued with deep meaning. Wisdom may be acquired in a more conscious manner; feelings of anger, guilt, blame, and victimization are replaced by acceptance, forgiveness, peace, and gratitude.

Courageous Souls: Do We Plan Our Life Challenges Before Birth? (ISBN 9780977679454; copyright 2007) is available online at www.CourageousSouls.com or at Amazon. The book may also be ordered from Whispering Winds Press by phone at 1-800-742-0148. To contact author Robert Schwartz, please write author@courageoussouls.com.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Robert Schwartz was born in Cleveland, Ohio. He holds a BA in psychology from Dartmouth College, and resides in Ashland, Oregon, where he enjoys hiking among the deer and pine trees.

In a personal session with a medium in 2003, Robert was astonished to speak with nonphysical beings who knew everything about him - not just what he had done in life, but also what he had thought and felt. They told him that he had planned many of his most difficult experiences before he was born.

Realizing that a knowledge of pre-birth planning would bring great healing to people and allow them to understand the deeper purpose of their life challenges, he devoted the next three years to studying the pre-birth plans of dozens of individuals. The extraordinary insights that emerged speak to our heartfelt, universal yearning to know ... why.