THE TITLE OF THIS COLUMN comes from the name of a lecture I attended in 1984 given by the late Frederick Lenz, aka Rama, a self-proclaimed enlightened spiritual master. I was a close student of his for a short time after being inspired by the message of this talk, and the experience of being within his sphere of influence was the genesis of my passion for writing and teaching about spiritual etiquette. I left the group partly because the women in the community were behaving in a manner that was anything but enlightened (or reflective of what our teacher espoused about spiritual etiquette - but didn't always practice).

Rama's curriculum at the time placed considerable emphasis on attaining mystical powers, but there was recklessness in terms of the use of power(s) by both the teacher and students. One of Rama's biggest mistakes was engaging in sexual relationships with some of the women in the community (myself included), insisting his ability to transfer spiritual power during intercourse would advance us faster than simply studying with him. Naturally, this caused an unspoken rift between the "chosen women" and all the rest in the community, and when you couple non-matured occult abilities with jealousy and competition (as well as challenged self-esteem in those who wondered why they weren't "good enough" to sleep with the teacher), you have a recipe for energetic tsunamis. This, of course, does nothing to advance anyone spiritually.

I will digress for a moment: When a teacher doesn't walk his or her talk, the example he or she outwardly leads by creates immense confusion within the student and feeds their own behavioral shadow issues. When the student isn't allowed to question the teacher and wishes to please the person they have entrusted their soul and psyche (and often money) to, everyone involved co-creates a co-dependent group dynamic that leads to disempowerment of the individual... intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Their vulnerability, married with eyes-closed, ears-covered, mouth-gagged faith opens them up to manipulation and abuse on both subtle and direct levels.

This quicksand exists in some spiritual communities just like it does in fundamental religious ones; any situation that doesn't allow and encourage questioning and owning your own mind is ultimately threatening to the spiritual teacher or religious leader and dangerous to the student who naively trusts them to be the intermediaries for Higher Powers (whatever name they wish to give them) they claim to be. Because I questioned rules I felt were divisive, isolationist and cult-like, I was dropped from my close position to Rama before I had an opportunity to ask him directly why he was not only tolerating spiritually destructive behaviors between women in the community, but actually encouraging them by his own actions - if he was authentically dedicated to the spiritual enlightenment of women. (FYI, Rama committed suicide in 1998.)

The subject of the spiritual enlightenment of both women and men is not one to be undertaken without seriousness, integrity and impeccable example if a person is in a position of influence upon others. In my case, my former teacher spoke eloquently about issues specific to women that impede spiritual awakening, but his own actions showed he wasn't helping matters.

Women have endured repression and limited access to spiritual knowledge and positions of empowering impact for centuries. The attitudes that hold them in a non-equal undignified status cannot be nurtured. Nor can the encouragement of using energy to manipulate and harm any perceived outer "threats" - something that women have been taught to do in patriarchal dominated societies for eons. There's no "blaming the victim" here - women have had to do whatever they could in order to survive. But, unfortunately, that has often been at the expense of their spiritual growth. When one spends considerable energy on survival tactics of any kind, they are living within an antagonistic, fear-based framework, which is the antithesis of the higher tonal qualities of inclusion and interconnection that arise from a love-based perspective. When a fear-oriented dynamic exists within any group, it reinforces itself on a downward spiral energetically. When it's present within an entire gender - as it still is with women - unifying, true gender-wide sisterhood is extremely difficult to actualize, no matter how loud the rallying cries of its proponents.

So why indeed, don't more women attain enlightenment? The subject that inspired me to become Rama's student was a seed planted in my awareness that stayed with me after I left. I wanted to understand more about the reasons women were holding themselves back spiritually at a time in history when women in Western cultures in particular were gaining more rights, freedoms, independence and earning power than ever before. This question has been a central component of my personal spiritual studies, observations and conversations with women and men for over twenty years. This topic has mostly existed in the shadows, with few wishing to put the matter on the table for open discussion, yet experiences expressed mostly in confidence to me suggested it was something that many at least wondered about themselves.

What was keeping this important issue below the surface? Fear was the most cited reason. And, as I stated above, fear is a power-depleting, downward energy spiral.

Yet, if we are to make a shift toward a collective higher consciousness, we must become fearless and transcend everything that keeps us mired in individual and collective darkness. Spiritual awakening cannot occur in an environment of fear, and denying that shadow behaviors on either a personal or group level exist is de-evolutionary spiritual paralysis. And we don't have time to monkey around any longer.

In 2003, I began composing a book about the shadow behaviors that block women from advancing into high states of spiritual awareness. It first came through in what one friend described as a "download from Spirit" - as set of 108 simple affirmations women could use to shift out of the lower behavioral pattern grooves they'd been stuck in and into a higher gear of more awakened, connected interaction within and without. I brought the early draft to the writers group I was involved with at the time that was comprised of women engaged in spiritual service through writing and teaching. Each of them applauded the concept, saying it was time someone addressed these old paradigm patterns in women that must be broken through if we were to make a collective shift toward a new paradigm of enlightened co-operation and co-creation. However, the initial wave of energy that brought the book into form was not sustained, and I put it aside for several years. Although I didn't realize it at the time, I had to evolve more before the book could do the same ... and the collective populace had to go through some challenging experiences as well to bring us to the point where many are seeing that we must unify or perish, and we must do it now. The most humble, reflective and self-honest of us knew that meant cleaning up our own acts before we could effectively change the world.

In late 2006, I knew it was time to complete the book. I received a strong "hit" that the one-line affirmations should become action-oriented focused meditations. As a proponent of Spiritual/Sacred Activism for many years, that idea made complete sense to me. I also wanted to include introductory sections about what my own observations and real-life "conversational research" suggested were the reasons women were still engaging in spiritually negating thoughts, behaviors and actions, as well as a brief discussion about the reality that all behavioral energy patterns impact others - something that quantum mechanics, neuroscience and cognitive therapies are rapidly proving which has come out in studies, books and even movies since 2003.

The meditations became framed as choices individuals can commit to making for the collective good, for at its core, spiritual practice ultimately moves away from the matters and needs of the disconnected individual self and into the good of the whole. Self-indulgence and individual entitlement are no longer acceptable if we are to make the necessary shifts that everyone is talking about. Proactive tangible inner changes (individually and collectively) that are seamlessly reflected outwardly are the next step.

The answer to the question of why more women don't attain enlightenment rests within each one of us and the thoughts, choices, behaviors and actions we embrace and teach by demonstration and example. The corresponding next questions are: "How badly do you want the world to change, because you must first change yourself?" and "What are you willing to do to help raise the overall consciousness of the women (and men) around you, which then, according to quantum physics, ultimately touches all women, and all men?" I love the line from the song "Life During Wartime" by the Talking Heads that underscores the urgency with which we must all choose to act:

This ain't no party, this ain't no disco,
this ain't no fooling around.

If you don't get how our collective choices are leading us quickly down a potentially irreversible path of destruction, take a look at how fast the ice is melting at the North and South poles. There's no more time for fooling around outwardly or inwardly. Women can lead in the reversal of the collective course of humanity on this planet, but the ones who will have the spiritual power to assist in the shift must be authentically unified ... and we don't have time to waste our energies in old paradigm behaviors.

Women have an innate aptitude for sixth-sense abilities, but as with any type of power, if not guided conscientiously with a simultaneous effort to transcend any tendencies toward indulging in negative behavioral patterns, those abilities can be applied in spiritually self-destructive ways. Many women have cultivated a strong ability to merge their sixth sense with sexual energy, and use the power of "feminine wiles" to get men to do their bidding - whether it is what may appear to be as innocuous as coyly getting out of a traffic ticket or as overt as "sleeping their way to the top" of the corporate, political, entertainment and even spiritual worlds, or scoring a mate with a fat bank account - it has been a tool that works. In tandem, other women are often looked upon as potential - or even real - threats.

This energy is destructive to self and others, and worse, is encouraged by mainstream media (TV shows, movies, magazines) and advertising, which in turn keeps women in a destructive, competitive mode, indulging in fear-based practices ranging from cattiness and gossip, to backstabbing, compromising their integrity for perceived worldly gains and security, trampling over one another, seducing another woman's partner, uncivil and unethical self-involved behaviors, to starving themselves and injecting toxins into their faces. All of this energy is contagious, as confirmed by neuroscience, and impacts others in a far-reaching manner, as confirmed by quantum physics.

Unfortunately, many women are not seeing how they are being socially and spiritually disempowered by any of it, according to the ratings of shows that frame darker female behaviors as "entertainment," the popularity of mean-spirited gossip columns and sales of Botox.

The only way this will shift is if we wake up and become accountable for the impact of the energy of our thoughts, choices, behaviors and actions, and move out of fear-based existence into spiritual fearlessness. This is accomplished by courageously breaking through the status-quo old paradigm, questioning the spiritual impact of the beliefs and behaviors others are trying to impose upon us and owning our own minds - and changing accordingly, voting with our feet, pocketbooks, and our own priorities and the energy we put behind them. My book, Affirmative Actions: Eyes Open Meditations for Women offers 108 ways in which we can begin to do that on an individual level while maintaining the collective in our awareness. I don't pretend it is the answer, but transcendence of old-paradigm shadow behaviors (in women and men) is an essential aspect of a broad-scope solution. I offer it with a humble yet passionate heart and with the absolute belief in what is possible if women truly united.

Process Journal questions: To what degree do you engage in old paradigm behaviors, and what are you willing to do to break through them?

© Suzanne Matthiessen, 2007