UNTIL IT FINALLY FADED to a dim representation
of its original self, I had a lovely framed greeting card on
my meditation altar for years.  The
card contained a quote by Yaqui Indian Shaman don Juan Matus,
proclaimed teacher of Toltec mysticism and mentor of the late
Carlos Castaneda. In beautiful calligraphy, the quote stated
something simple and beautiful, and became one of my predominant
spiritual journey mantras:
For me there is only the traveling on the paths that have
heart, on any path that may have heart. There I travel, and
the only worthwhile challenge for me is to traverse its full
length. And there I travel - looking, looking, breathlessly.
There is considerable debate on whether don Juan even existed.
Regardless, Castaneda's numerous books contain profound philosophical
and practical knowledge that provide a solid framework for the
heart-filled path of an impeccable, fearless Spiritual Warrior.
Of course, questions that naturally arise are, "What is
a path with heart? Isn't it all relative?"
In Castaneda's book from whence the above quote is taken, Journey
to Ixtlan, don Juan offers further explanation:
"Anything is one of a million paths. Therefore you must
always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if you feel
you should not follow it, you must not stay with it under any
conditions. To have such clarity you must lead a disciplined
life. Only then will you know that any path is only a path,
and there is not affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping
it if that is what your heart tells you to do. But your decision
to keep on the path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition.
"I warn you. Look at every path closely and deliberately.
Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself,
and yourself alone, one question. This question is one that
only a very old person asks.  My
benefactor told me about it once when I was young, and my
blood was too vigorous for me to understand it. Now I do understand
it.
"I
will tell you what it is: Does this path have a heart?
"All paths are the same, they lead nowhere. They are
paths going through the bush, or into the bush. In my own
life I could say I have traversed long, long paths, but I
am not anywhere. My benefactor's question has meaning now.
'Does this path have a heart?' One makes you strong; the other
weakens you.
"The
trouble is nobody asks the question; and, when a person finally
realizes that they have taken a path without heart, the path
is ready to kill them. At that point very few people stop
to deliberate and leave the path.
"A path without a heart is never enjoyable. You have to
work hard even to take it. On the other hand, a path with heart
is easy; it does not make you work at liking it."
Don't be fooled by don Juan's last statement here. A path with
heart is not all "happy happy joy joy" all the time
in the way you might think, and easy is indeed a relative term.
Let me put it this way: a path with heart is "easy"
if you surrender and don't fight it. It does not mean it is
without challenges; in fact it probably has more challenges
than a path that does not have heart.  But
the difference is the spirit of joy, discovery, wonder and adventure
that envelops anyone who embraces a heart-filled path with no
egoic ambition or resistance whatsoever, as their sheer reverence
and gratitude fills each moment and each step with strength,
regardless of what comes their way. That includes gratitude
for what many would not even consider being grateful for: the
hardships that test our mettle, resolve and grasp of a greater
picture of Life - because if we are truly serious and trust
the wisdom and intelligence of God/Source/Spirit, we also have
the humility to find the treasures within every challenge. Gifts
that enrich our soul sometimes ask a great deal on the human
plane, yet are immense blessings. If your number one priority
is spiritual awakening, then everything that will bring you
closer to that state of consciousness - no matter what it may
be - is what you will bring into your life, because God/Source/Spirit
takes such a commitment very seriously when you choose to play
Big and let go of playing small. I know this to be true from
my own experience as well as that of others.
Naturally, a path with heart is connected with the heart chakra,
but again, not just the feel-good aspects. Sondra Ray, creator
of the Loving Relationships Trainings once said, "Love
brings up everything unlike itself." Perhaps more accurately,
love brings up all of its darker polarities that many consider
opposites, but in truth are simply shadow dance partners. Love
- and subsequently a path with heart - brings up the various
energy expressions of fear that may still exist within. Let's
have a look at how this plays out.
The heart chakra, located along the body's non-physical energy
pathway close to the physical heart, is the center point of
emotional energy and sacred power. In a fully awakened person
who has transcended their egoic shadows, the heart chakra is
an unstoppable powerhouse and ever-flowing river  of
compassion, empathy, spiritual fearlessness, interconnection,
and forgiveness. Yet, to reach that point of transcendental
awareness, one will by necessity face their shadow qualities
and do the tango - for as long as it takes to pass beyond them
onto a unified state where they know these shadow qualities
still exist in a phantom form, yet they have simply reached
a place where they don't want to dance with them any longer.
So when someone on a spiritual journey encounters love in its
multitude of shapes and expressions and their shadow dance is
not complete, this energetic quality truly does bring up everything
that looks to be unlike itself: hatred, jealousy, rage, competition,
an inability to support others on the journey, scarcity, inability
to forgive, self-involvement, narcissism, vengeance, distrust,
resentment, attack, entitlement, a sense of specialness for
being "spiritual," divisiveness, blame, etc. These
shadow qualities are (of course) brought forth, heightened and
accelerated in romantic, familial, societal and work relationships,
and is exactly why relationships with others can be a fast track
path to spiritual awakening; that is, of course, if we handle
them with grace and integrity. These challenges are great
opportunities and blessings for someone committed to their spiritual
evolution,  as
most people get triggered all over the place within our relationships
with others, and when that occurs, we are shown where we still
have work to do – or spaces left on our dance card if
you will. It is easy to attain "enlightenment" when
living a life of solitude and isolation, yet put that same "enlightened"
person in situations of constant human interaction, and see
if they maintain the same state of inner equanimity.
Once you have reached a place of heart chakra integration, you
have the capacity to truly understand what Mick Jagger sings
about in Sympathy for the Devil:
Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
You see that you have the potential to act in any conceivable
manner, and perhaps have even done so in this or past lives
- and that is part of being able to see ourselves in anyone
else regardless who they are or what they have done. A path
with heart is a path of inclusion, compassion and sympathy for
the darkness we all must choose to embrace or bypass, and does
not contain one iota of superiority; however it does include
discipline and the choice to lead by impeccable example.
A path with heart also includes being able to act with tough
love when needed. I often say that one of the most loving things
you can do for another is to not enable their shadow behaviors,
regardless of who they are. That is not always easy, as so many
of us still run approval-seeking programs, and/or suppression
of the truth programs. However, this does not serve either party,
and in fact only cements a flavor of fear when well-meaning
but misguided people who do not encourage truth-telling compound
it. It is even worse when we are afraid to speak up about spiritual
teachers  or
fellow spiritual seekers who do not live with transparency between
what they claim to believe and how they act in everyday life.
I ask you, how can this be perceived as loving when we have
no time to waste? For one who is committed to a path with heart,
every naked emperor must be openly acknowledged, even when it
is us.
In his book A Path With Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and
Promises of Spiritual Life, Buddhist teacher Jack Kornfield
suggests we consciously name our inner demons (a.k.a. our shadows)
such as greed, fear, doubt, judgment, confusion, anger, boredom,
etc., in order to transcend them. "A genuine spiritual
path does not avoid difficulties or mistakes," Kornfield
says, "but leads us to the art of making mistakes wakefully."
When we practice mindfulness, we become present in each moment
and are able to be a more astute observer. By engaging in heart-centered
radically self-honest inquiry, we can pay closer attention to
where we still have areas to work on, and not berate ourselves
when we do make those mistakes, but instead forgive ourselves
and begin again with greater resolve and clarity. On the other
hand, if we choose to remain in denial, justification and blame
as to why we even made these mistakes, they will lead us down
a path without heart, one riddled with pain that weakens our
energy field with every step. When one travels a path with heart,
victimhood is no longer an option, and courage becomes our ally
when facing each named demon for what will one day be our last
shadow dance, and all that remains is Light.
Process Journal - Exercise for May
As
Jack Kornfield suggests, make a list of your inner demons, without
judging yourself for still having them in your life. Then ask
yourself with an open heart what are you getting from each one
of them, as human beings do everything for some sort of payoff,
whether it is productive or destructive. Be as deeply honest
yet as compassionate with yourself as possible. Ask why you
are still dancing with any particular behavior, and if you are
willing to be done with it yet - or not. You may not be quite
ready to let it go, but calling it forth into your conscious
awareness is a requisite step in its transcendence. Ask if you
are maybe willing to let it go,  even
if you aren't completely ready, as God/Source/Spirit asks only
for our willingness when we choose to join forces co-creatively.
By becoming willing, we then open ourselves to mindfully seeing
when this behavior arises and how it hinders us spiritually,
and then gently yet powerfully allow ourselves to choose differently.
Change does not happen instantly; it takes focused practice
to create new grooves to replace the old ones, and as A
Course in Miracles tells us, at any moment we can begin
again. When you are committed to a path with heart, you simply
pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep on moving forward.
The past only exists in our minds, and we really aren't going
anywhere anyway, as don Juan and all great teachers tell us.
We can only choose as to how we experience the journey, and
if you don't like where the terrain the path you are on is taking
you through, ask if it is a path with heart (and love), or a
path with ego (and fear). You will know. To repeat what don
Juan said in the above passage:
If
you feel you should not follow it, you must not stay with it
under any conditions.
Don't wait until you are old to examine and question the path
you are on. Be unafraid to travel a path with heart its full
length without ego-based ambition, all the while looking, looking
breathlessly.
©
Suzanne Matthiessen, 2007
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