By Twyla

My Beloved One has had a wonder-filled life. Her children visit every week, and there are enough of them to cover at least 4 days of the week. She is fully supported and most assuredly loved by all of her family. The love translates easily into gentle teasing, humour and much laughter. On the wall of My Beloved One’s room is a picture of her when she was still able to walk. She stands in front of a log cabin with her son. In her hands is a hunting rifle, and it is just slightly less thin, and slightly less tall than she. I can still hear her laughter when I asked if her son held on to the back of her coat, for there is no doubt in my mind that the rifle weighs more than she, and should he let go of her, I tell her, there is no possibility that she could stay upright.

Etched forever upon my heart is the picture of my 19 month old granddaughter walking beside My Beloved One’s wheelchair, holding her hand and chatting in some alien language as though we all understood each word. My Beloved One apparently did. I will forever see the easy companionship between these two special ones in my life. I will hold forever the joy each resident had upon seeing my wee one once again. To watch such a tiny be-ing walk up to ones she did not know, and offer a hug and a kiss is something that cannot be translated, only witnessed in love.

For some time now, My Beloved One has been praying for release. She wants to go home. She wants to be with her husband, and she wants to be set free of the pain she has in her right foot. This is something that she cannot fully share with her sons and daughters. They love her so much and they are not prepared to accept that her time is soon. She shares these feelings with me, and when I promise her that one day, she will wake up to find that she did not really wake up at all, she smiles with such peace.

Recently My Beloved One has been having disturbing dreams that she cannot interpret. Her family have no words to tell her why she dreams of her wedding dress, and her long dead husband. I know they are concerned, but for the most part, they feel it is the pain medication she must take that causes these dreams. My Beloved One cannot understand the disjointed thoughts that she has in her dream time, nor can she stop wondering why this is happening. She is sure that she is acting foolish, and that everyone will be wondering what is wrong.

Again, her family are unable to verbalize any reasons, other than that she should not worry about this, that no one is looking, and no one can see any changes in her. My Beloved One does not believe this to be true. She knows they love her, but with the small changes in her, she now is seeing a mirror in her children ~ almost as though they are moving away emotionally. They are concerned, and she can tell. What she does not realize is that what she sees is not a distancing from her children happening here, but their unspoken fear of the inevitable. She wishes to go, they wish for her to stay. And every night My Beloved One prays for death.

Today, I sat with her for some time. My heart was so full of her beauty, that my eyes filled over. She bemused that at her time in life how amazing it was to find a new friend. She was wonder-filled that a new friend, one so young as I, could satisfactorily interpret her dreams, and understand just how much she wished to leave. She has asked me to pray that the next time I see her, she shall be laid out in her coffin. I have promised to do so.

The point of this sharing is this… and I ask you to Ponder it deeply:

No matter how wonderful and loving your relationship is with your elders, there are subjects that are very difficult for them to discuss with biological family. My Beloved One understood completely when I told her that we had always known each other, we just saved the actual meeting until now. For now is when we, the LightBearers can shine our brightest. Compassion is Love in Action. I choose to work with our Elders for they make my heart sing. What would also make my heart sing, is to know that my humble words have touched the strings of your heart, and found there a melody that mirrors my own.

I ask you all, find what makes your eyes fill with tears of joy, and shine your light there. If loving our Elders is not what calls to you, there are hospices, hospitals, rehabilitation centres, and prisons everywhere. Hands that reach out in the darkness and are touched by your Light, will change more than the ones who reach for you.

I do not make promises as a general rule - however, here are two that I promise will be so ~ each and everyone of us will face our final day on this beautiful earth, ~ and each and everyone of us who reaches out in love to another will be forever transformed.

I close with this thought ~ borrowed from another place in another time ~

“If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain:
If I can ease one life the aching
Or cool one pain, Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.”
Emily Dickinson

We at PLW are dedicated to sharing the light and the love of who we really are. At this time, I would invite you all to share your stories with us, for as we knit to-get-her in love, the fabric will grow stronger. We came here with one thought in mind ~ To know a greater love than has ever been known. So, Beloved Ones ~

Ponder this ~ If Spirit is pure love, how could we possibly know a greater love than this?

I say by be-ing able to wrap your arms around someone else ~ love made physical ~ for sure, a greater love than has ever been known.

One of our Joint Section Editors for Beyond the Veil, Twyla's transition theme is volunteer work. Her choice of venue is a nursing home.