EACH MOMENT BRINGS US face to face with possibilities - choices, various roads we can take. Yet most of the time we have such trouble specifying a path for ourselves. Why are decisions so difficult to make?

By examining the causes of our indecisions, we are gifted with awareness. Through awareness, we achieve liberation, as we come to a place where all roads are open and perfect. We realise and accept the greatest gift of all - Free Will.

Fearing the Future
One of the main reasons for our indecisiveness is our fear of future instability - or more aptly, fear of future insecurity.

Every decision we make leads to a path. All paths are uncertain because they concern the future - and are therefore unpredictable. All uncertain and unpredictable paths are unstable. Why does being unstable cause us fear?

This is because we tell ourselves that external things, such as friends, family, lovers, situations, career and money, can make us happy. All these factors represent a pool of power that we draw from to give us happiness. Power is synonymous with love. We endeavour to seek this power, this love, externally because we do not believe we can source it from ourselves - we do not love ourselves.

As we draw power (love) from these externalities, we perpetuate our state of instability through our dependence upon them. This is because as those externalities fluctuate and change, we become disorientated and ultimately lose our power source - we become unhappy.

And this is where this philosophy of fearing uncertainty (the future) emanates from. The future is uncertain and therefore unable to offer us definite security. When we realise that our happiness is reliant upon something that is inherently unstable, we realise that drawing power externally does not serve us. As we begin to draw from within, we create the very essence of security. The more we draw security (power/love) from within, the more this security becomes something that is harmless to external influence.

This enables us to have a completely different perspective and experience of our reality. Instead of allowing external people, experiences and situations to control our choices, we allow ourselves to make the decisions. It is when we allow externalities to make our decisions that cause us such pain. This is because we know our true decisions are not being met. Would you like it if your parents made all your decisions for you? Of course not! You want to make your own decisions. Then treat all externalities in the same manner!

As we learn to believe in ourselves more and more, we open ourselves up more and more to a world of infinite possibilities.

Distrust of Ourselves
Another factor for our indecisions is that we simply do not believe in ourselves. We do not believe that we are capable of making a sound decision that will lead to a positive result. Whenever we are undecided about something, we are basically saying to ourselves "I am uncertain whether this decision I make is right. Therefore I am uncertain of my own ability to make right decisions". This is a direct reflection of how we feel internally about ourselves. If we were confident and secure about ourselves, we would not be concerned about making "wrong" decisions.

Our internal fears always emerge to inform us that we are simply incapable of making a decision that could lead to a positive experience. We doubt.

So let us ask, what is doubt? If we look at our language definition of doubt we see the words distrust, disbelief and uncertainty prop up. And this is what doubt is - it is a distrust of ourselves. Our internal and external conditioning informs us that we have no right to believe in ourselves. We dictate to ourselves that we are simply incapable of making a correct choice. When we have little belief of our own power to make correct choices then this will be reflected in our outer world. We will literally approach people, situations and experiences with this negative belief (insecurity) of not having an effective power.

Doubt over Our Ability to Handle Tough Experiences
Another aspect of our distrust is our belief that we are incapable of facing certain situations. When we fear making wrong decisions, we basically fear a possible negative future event and how we may be placed in it. Ultimately, we also fear our ability to handle that possible negative situation.

If we were truly confident, secure and empowered in ourselves we would not fear any situation or experience because we would know we could handle it and not be negatively affected by it. Therefore, all roads would be open.

This point ties in with another crucial factor of where we are still seeing the world in terms of good and bad, right and wrong, black and white. This is polarity consciousness. This is the paradox of our distrust. On one hand, we do not trust our ability to make "right" decisions. On the other hand, we harbour a belief in right and wrong in the first place! However, it is important that we approach both points separately because both individually offer us respective growth as we overcome them. As we evolve our awareness to see as a compassionate being, we see the truth, beauty and splendour in all things.

All situations have an opportunity of growth as all situations serve us. To fear situations and experiences only empowers potent messages to our subconscious mind that we are weak because we are unable to handle certain situations. It is imperative for our own happiness that we do not simply label an experience as negative since this will tie us to it. When we see the Light in all situations, we move on and become happier, wiser and stronger - we grow. It is therefore crucial that we change the way we perceive all our experiences. We must endeavour to see the purpose in all things.

It is also essential that we believe in our own ability to handle any situation. There is not one situation that we cannot handle. It is only our disbelief in ourselves that causes us to shrink from pain and suffering, thus making that pain and suffering affect us more! If we really fear our ability to handle negative situations, we will literally force ourselves to live under a rock for the rest of our lives. Yet this still does not hide us from negative situations! A fearful ostrich that hides its head under the sand, still has its entire body open to attack! You simply cannot run from your fear - and this is not something to fear either! It is a part of you that you have yet to heal, embrace and transmute into a positive trait.

Where a choice leads to a so-called mistake, it has highlighted a part of you that needs healing anyway. Whether you experience that 'mistake' now or later is irrelevant, it is a part of you that must be addressed and healed if you are truly to be fully empowered. By aligning with your heart and raising your awareness, you can heal your 'mistakes' (insecurities) before you experience them.

So by moving beyond the polarised view of black and white, we see purpose to all situations and experiences. We also see the power within ourselves to transmute any situation into Light, enabling all experiences to help us grow. Thus we do not fear any road or path

As we learn to be more confident and ultimately realise that there is nothing to fear, we realise that the world is in fact an exciting place of infinite opportunity with unlimited doors to open and explore.

Negation of Our Own Intuition
Another cause for our indecisions is our incessant negation of our own intuition.

We are constantly told throughout our childhood, adolescence and even adulthood that we must look outside for confirmation of our decisions. Schools, parents, institutions tell us whenever we make a decision to first question it. "Are you sure? What did your boss say? Why have you taken this subject, what are your friends taking? You're too young, I know better". In reality there is no 'better'. There is no right decision. Both are equally valid because both are the choice of the individual. Of course, children require guidance in life, yet to truly learn and be happy they must trust their own decision-making ability. Free will is the ultimate gift, why let another take it away from you?

Remember, if we are constantly seeking validation from others and seeking others to make our decisions for us then we are not truly living. A common example of this is with psychics, psychiatrists and counsellors. For example, psychics are wonderful beings who can offer us insight into the various roads that are open to us. However, we must endeavour not to rely on them to make our choices for us. The same is true for counsellors and psychiatrists. If we are persistently seeing (depending upon) another to choose a path for us or to confirm our decisions, then we are sending a clear message to ourselves that we need others to validate us. We are basically saying that others are more capable of making right decisions in our own lives! This creates an internal theory that we are imperfect in some way as well being weak and needy. These negative beliefs (insecurities) will then be reflected and manifested in all parts of our life.

We already have the answers to all our decisions within. Let us take a very simple example to establish our intuition. Let us say Robert is a gifted and passionate musician who is desperate for a break in the industry. He is offered a two week contract to make a CD that could sell millions or to go on holiday with his friends. What is he going to choose?

Robert will immediately feel compelled to the path that satiates his passion and desire. Sounds too simple, but the real decisions we make are the ones we don't even think about - because we resonate with the response. We intuit. We know.

Making General Decisions
Making decisions can often be time-wasting events as we fret over the possible road to take. Will this road lead me to the Emerald City or it will it take me to the Wicked Witch of the West? Both are perfect! If you 'suffer', you have learned something and are stronger, wiser and ultimately happier. If not, then you have still reached your goal. Dorothy found her way, despite randomly picking paths and getting into trouble. The yellow brick road is your golden path to your dreams, it is already paved! It already has many directions, but they all weave in and out to lead to your Emerald City..

And this is the way to view all decisions. Not simply as one path that serves you and another that does not but to view all paths that serve you! Remember, by viewing everything as pure and perfect, you bring about that perfection into your life.

Let us take an example and look at Angelina. Now Angelina tells herself that she has huge problems making decisions. Every time, she is faced with a decision, she is immediately faced with myriad alternate directions and paths that could possibly lead to a multitude of other directions! However, it is only Angelina that is confusing the situation here! There are a multitude of paths open to you. Always. However, you are not always confused about the direction you choose. Why not? This is because you do not always harbour doubt when making your decision about your path. Angelina feels confused every time she has to make an important decision which affects her life experience. She doesn't want to make the 'wrong' choice.

There are a few lessons here for Angelina to counteract her perpetual indecision. First, she must refrain from distrusting herself for making a 'right' decision. Secondly, she must endeavour to realise that there simply is no right or wrong decision! Thirdly, Angelina may realise that she is harbouring doubt over her ability to handle tough situations. Fourthly is Angelina's obvious attachment to externalities. The last one is crucial because it defines Angelina's perceptions, fears and insecurities - where reliance upon externalities creates dependency and false comfort. She relies upon her external power sources for her security. When she is faced with decisions about a future direction (which all decisions are), these power sources become threatened. And this is what causes Angelina fear and her inevitable indecision.

Angelina's dilemma has never been external; it has always been an internal conflict of belief in herself versus a dis-belief in herself. As you can see there are many factors involved yet by becoming aware of why we do things, we transmute the ignorance within us into wisdom. Awareness is our salvation and our key to ultimate freedom.

When you truly believe in your own power, you will take so-called risks and so-called chances. We have conditioned ourselves for so long to believe that it is too dangerous to plunge ourselves into a pit of variable chance. We've convinced ourselves that it will lead to a negative experience.

So as Angelina learns to empower herself as a Divine being, she sees that she is instead faced with rays of sunshine that all lead to her goal. Angelina realises that each path is blessed, each road vibrantly awaiting her feet to walk upon.

Remember, you are constantly creating! This means that whatever path you choose will not necessarily be the one that you faced when you made your original decision, since other paths will always be merging towards your present intention.

So in this respect, there are no alternate paths once you've made your decision! We tell ourselves, "What if I chose this path instead of that?" However, we are assuming here that our one decision would lead to a definitive result. This is impossible because of the multitude of other decisions we are continually making each and every moment! If your intention is pure within yourself that you intend to follow your heart's desire and ultimately serve yourself, then you attract the benefits from other paths 'that you may have missed'.

We must endeavour to realise that every decision we make, every path we take, is our own sacred choice. As we live our lives with our positive intentions, then all positive benefits will be attracted to our reality anyway! This truth leaves us with the wisdom of knowing that every decision we make is perfect! By harbouring positive intentions, we magnetise and manifest positive experiences into our lives. By embracing the wisdom of perfection in our decisions, we simultaneously brighten, clarify and attract the positive benefits from all other paths to merge with our own.

©2006, Vaz Sriharan

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Vaz Sriharan is a writer, healer and counsellor living in London, England. Born with an intense feeling of purpose, he battled with depression for nearly twenty years. Over time, he taught himself both psychology and spirituality in an effort to find answers to the problems that plagued him. He now uses this blend of psycho-spirituality as well as his innate empathic abilities as a teacher and healer to help awaken others to their Divine heritage. Vaz welcomes comments, questions and expression at: planetvaz@hotmail.com.