ANYONE WHO HAS STUDIED the Law of Attraction knows that we are the creators of our own lives. We are each personally responsible for our own thoughts, feelings, and the resulting physical reality. Our thoughts create an energy field and people and situations that resonate with our thinking are drawn to us. This is Universal Law 101. Like attracts like. We reap what we sow. In his book, Prosperity, Charles Fillmore wrote:

All true action is governed by law. Nothing just happens. There are no miracles. There is no such thing as luck. Nothing comes by chance. All happenings are the result of cause and can be explained under the Law of Cause and Effect.

At some point in time you come to realize that positive thinking and affirmations are not the whole story. It isn't just your conscious thoughts. In a later Fillmore quote he said: "You are a walking picture, flashed into visible manifestation by the camera of your mind." In this new realization you learn that you don't even know most of what you think. It's unconscious. It is who you are being, the person you believe yourself to be, that is reflected back to you in your life experience. You find that you can no longer pile affirmations on top of guilt, shame, and self hatred. You have to address the ideas in your mind that contradict your well-being, your prosperity, and your desires for success. Instead of denying your negative emotions in a quest to be positive, you accept your thoughts, your emotions, and your self image. You become both honest and unconditionally loving with yourself. This helps you to heal.

As you begin to establish dominion over your own mind, you come to realize that it doesn't just affect you. The world is not made up of isolated individuals each doing their own thing. We are connected. There is no "them", only "us". Everything that happens is consciousness expressed in physical reality. Physical reality is an actualization, or projection, of your thoughts. Nothing in the physical reality that you witness happens independent of you. In A Course in Miracles it is written: "Everything you see is the result of your thoughts. There is no exception to this fact."

In earlier installments, we defined spiritual intelligence as choosing between ego and spirit. The thoughts of the ego are thoughts of dis-ease. If my thoughts are diseased (negative, hurtful, angry, judgmental, etc.), they create a diseased physical reality. The thoughts of Spirit, your Higher Self, are thoughts of love. They are life affirming thoughts. If my thoughts are whole and well, they create a wholesome physical reality. Your physical reality includes all of the people and places that surround you. With this understanding you now know that you, as a leader, are incredibly powerful. You are not merely influential. You are 100% responsible for creating reality the way it is. Your way of being has a ripple effect.

You do not have the power to make others be different or to fix what seems to be wrong. You have the power to change yourself. Whenever you witness conflict or any lack of well-being you take ownership. You become 100% responsible for correcting the diseased thoughts in you that create the diseased reality that you see. You are either feeding the present reality with your judgments and blame; or you are healing it through the transformation of your mind.

100% responsibility means I am responsible for everything. If I am the leader of an organization, I am responsible for the culture, the productivity, quality and the performance of everyone in my organization. If I am a spouse and parent, I am responsible for the well-being of everyone in my family. If I am an athlete, I am responsible for the performance of everyone on my team. This may sound like a heavy burden, but it is not. 100% responsibility is the way to freedom and greater effectiveness.

Responsibility is the ability to respond. It is not blame. I can respond to any situation by changing my perception of it. I am accountable. I recognize that my thinking, feeling, and behavior are causal to the situation I see. My opinions of others form my vision for them. If I am focused on problems and conflicts, I am perpetuating those problems and conflicts with my attention. If I am focused on that which is highest and best, my way of being will serve to draw out what is highest and best.

An excellent teacher I knew received a troubled boy into her sixth grade class. On the first day of school every child, including the boy, walked into the class convinced that this boy was trouble. Every previous teacher passed him on although his skills were poor. They did their best, but they could not help him. This teacher did not share the common perception. She saw a boy who wanted to succeed; who wanted to learn; and who wanted to enjoy friendship. She became a mirror for what was highest and best in that child. The year was transformational. Her vision became reality. He learned, and he grew to appreciate himself and others. The other students learned to appreciate him.

Usually we are not aware of how our thoughts, our deeply held assumptions are creating reality. In 100 % responsibility you ask yourself the question: "What is going on in me that this problem is manifesting?" Next, you are quiet. Contemplate this. Pray on it. Meditate on it. Honestly seek an answer. You may be surprised at what you receive. Once you begin to see how your thoughts and actions contribute, you can ask another question: "What can I do to rectify this situation within me?" Again, contemplate, meditate, and/or pray on this. Do what comes to you. Choose to perceive the situation from the position of your Higher Self.

One of the major benefits of 100% responsibility is that you stop seeing yourself as a victim. If you are responsible, you cannot be a victim. Consider this: What if someone is doing or saying unkind things to you? What if you stop being the victim and ask - "What is going on in me that this person is feeling bitter or angry toward me?" You will begin to see that what you thought was happening was not happening. Maybe the anger being expressed is not about you. Or perhaps your anger or hurt feelings are serving to draw more hostility your way. As you reflect on your own internal reactions, you make a decision to let them go. You face the emotion and create the intention to feel at peace instead. You release the thoughts and feelings you have been holding.

When you practice this you begin to see other people differently. You make different choices. The underperforming employee who you usually avoid, now receives your interest and concern. You ask how he is doing and if there is anything he needs. You offer honest feedback along with your willingness to help. The spouse you saw as undeserving of your affection now gets a sincere compliment. The "irresponsible" child receives an encouraging word. The people around you at work who you saw as "against" you, now look different. You now see them with compassion and find ways to support them.

In this new mindset you treat people differently because you see them differently. And since we live in a connected world, your thoughts and feelings affect them. The "energy" around your relationship becomes different. For example, if you have hostile or critical feelings toward someone, they can feel that "energy". If the "energy" changes to respect, non judgment, and compassion, they will feel the shift. To do this you must be willing to let go of all negative judgments and feelings toward the person. You may ask: "What is my vision for this relationship? Would I rather be right (angry, hurt, upset, etc.) or would I rather be free? (whole, effective, happy, etc.)" What you want is your vision and it is what you are creating.

100% responsibility doesn't mean you are carrying the world on your shoulders. It does mean that you, like everyone else, are supporting the current state. When you sincerely ask to see what is going on in you and how you can rectify the situation in you, you take your focus off trying to change others. Your work is to clear your mind of all judgments and negative emotional reactions. As you clear yourself you can help and lead others toward what can be.

To lead is to help bring into being what can be. We begin this process by acknowledging that we are already bringing into being the current state. We affect the current state by seeing it differently. This requires us to release all judgments and conflicts about the current state from within our minds. We choose to see a higher reality based on what our Higher Self sees. When this higher reality becomes more real to us than the current state, we become powerful creators. When we desire a higher reality more than we want our conflicts and opinions, transformation begins.

It is crucial in problem solving to realize that the body and the world are not the problems in and of themselves but the effects, the consequences, of memories replaying in the Subconscious Mind!
- the writings of Ihaleakala Hew Len, Ph.D

© William Frank Diedrich, 2008

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

William Frank Diedrich is a speaker, executive coach, and the author of three books, including Beyond Blaming: Unleashing Power and Passion in People and Organizations. Bill offers The Leaders’ Edge, an online leadership development class. He also offers a free spiritual intelligence assessment at both his web sites at http://intelligentspirit.com and http://noblaming.com.