A CHEROKEE ELDER sitting with his grandchildren told them, "In every life there is a terrible fight - a fight between two wolves. One is evil: he is fear, anger, envy, greed, arrogance, self-pity, resentment, and deceit. The other is good: joy, serenity, humility, confidence, generosity, truth, gentleness, and compassion." A child asked, "Grandfather, which wolf will win?" The grandfather replied, "The one you feed."

This is a familiar parable, one that Light Workers have undoubtedly heard before. It fits right in with "Visualize World Peace" and "As you think, so you create." But, what does it really mean to create your reality? How do we still live in a world in which there are wars, division, and violence? Are we really visualizing world peace? Or are we unconsciously feeding the "evil," or dark, wolf?

I have been guilty of calling myself a Light Worker and saying that I want world peace and harmony, and yet I've fed the dark wolf. It wasn't obvious to me at the time. You could say I was entirely unconscious of this choice, but that hardly meant I was innocent. It just meant that I was an unconscious being. So how did I become conscious?

The recent events in our world have caused huge divisions among people, and like most, I chose a side. This was my first error. In spirit, there are no sides. Like many, I felt I had chosen the "right" side, which must mean that the other side was "wrong." This, too, was an error, because no one's right if everybody's wrong, to quote Buffalo Springfield. (We keep learning and forgetting this, it seems.) By choosing a side, I fed the wrong wolf - even though my "side" was saying, "Hey, let's have world peace, let's not attack any one, let's not return violence with violence." I still believe that; that is my truth. So why was this a mistake?

Voicing my truth was not the mistake. The mistake occurred when I mentally chose a side and entered into the energetic push/pull of duality and division, which we do naturally unless we become conscious of it. By taking a side, I was devaluing other human beings and passing judgment. I was saying, "You are wrong, because you are advocating something that is violent to me." What's tough about this is that I really don't like violence, or war, or anything like that. However, in choosing sides, I created a division in myself, and allowed anger to fester. I can't promote peace with anger; it just can't be done. So now, instead of being peaceful in myself, I was angry, and I was projecting that anger onto others. In short, I was part of the problem.

Once I realized this, it was still difficult to resolve the anger and stop taking sides, but at least I was aware of what I was doing. As I worked on it, I began to notice when I felt angry and when I had unloving thoughts about anyone else, for any reason. One thing I noticed was that these feelings became much, much worse whenever I was exposed to mass media.

I didn't watch the news on TV because I felt it was a manipulative medium. But I used to read the New York Times religiously, and I told myself that that was okay because it wasn't TV. It wasn't as emotionally manipulative. It was more "grown-up." It wasn't a problem.

But it was a problem, because I could read an editorial and get angry all over again. It wasn't the editorialist's fault. It was mine. I had to own that, so I decided to limit the amount of media that I would expose myself to. I stopped reading many online news sites. But I still couldn't resist the lure of a good Times editorial.

Eventually, I realized I was addicted. Not to the news, and not to a "cause"... I was addicted to feeling "right." I was addicted to being angry at people who did not validate me in this.

I didn't like admitting this to myself at all. However, I really did want to heal my anger, so I decided to quit news media cold turkey. I could still browse web pages with spiritual content that resonated with me. I could still read my favorite cartoons. But no more news, and definitely no more New York Times.

The impact of this change was immediate! I quit worrying about world events. As a result, I gradually became less angry. If I did catch a headline by mistake, I learned how to give it to God to resolve and just let it be without taking sides. I was able to stop focusing on the negative events and start seeing the world in a more positive light. I became more peaceful. Over time, I was even able to start forgiving the people I used to be angry with. I started feeding the wolf of Light.

So, was it just the media? No, although it enabled my addiction very nicely. The core issue was being emotionally invested in being right. If someone had a different opinion, it didn't validate me, and somewhere in myself that different opinion made me feel "wrong." I didn't like that. They say that the best defense is a good offense, and if so, what better offense than to be right all the time? Hey, I was a "Light Worker," so that meant I had to be right! Didn't it?

Silly ego tricks.

Since needing to be right was such an issue for me, then could I ever be right again? For example, was I right in thinking that violence was wrong? Was it right to harm someone? Or could those things be wrong?

The answer for me was that I could be right. I just couldn't be invested in being right. I had to allow other people to have their process and their opinions. I had to know that my self-worth was not dependent on being validated by the opinion of someone else. Most importantly of all, I had to be able to forgive other people for having different beliefs, such as, "War is okay under certain conditions."

In the end, world events and the mass media were healing catalysts for me. By helping me to feed the dark wolf, they actually taught me how to feed the Light wolf. And, because I was able to heal these issues in myself, I am now able to walk my talk and promote peace by being peaceful. It didn't hurt my relationships with friends and family, either! By allowing myself the possibility of being wrong and allowing other people to be right, I improved my relationships and my life.

I also now know the value of focusing on positive things. Without the daily influence of media negativity, my world is much improved. This in turn has an impact on the world, although I don't fully understand how. It goes something like this: What we focus on, we give energy to. What we give energy to, we create. If the attention that is given to conflict is diverted to other topics such as peace and world harmony, we'll have a peaceful planet... right now. It's possible. It starts with each of us, one at a time.

© Asha Hawkesworth, 2006

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

 

Asha Hawkesworth lives in Portland, Oregon, USA with her wonderful family and four cats. She is the author of Grandma's Roses, an upcoming children's book, and articles on spiritual topics.

Website: www.asha-ahnna.com