April Fuels Daze

EVERYTHING'S GRATE. All your whirries are behind you, twisting your panties in a cosmic DNA bunch. Oh Maya! The blight is at the end of the funnel so praise the lording over. Halve a nice day while seeking to be wholly. And remember: one good turd deserves another. What goes around, goes around while you think that you are going to come. It's all Gouda. We are all won. Praise Good! Hellaloser! Ah men.

Happy silly season. The Keister Bunny is coming to kick ass if you're not hoppy. The hidden eggs you on while you are looking for your peeps. Check out the basket case. Ascension is sought while you cruise a fix. Then you get nailed. Brother can you spear a divine? The Saver, which Moses invested, is coming to throw out the money changers in the name of the Profit. Allah right! Buddha can you spare a dimension? The poor wretches need Amassing Grace from the Pope star Benedict Gnarled. There before the hereafter, trembling brims in the stony hearts of phony mercy beaucoup. Arm a Gideon! A pox to their lips! Christ on a crackerjack, the prize is promised inside. The De-Odor ring will end sin and sorrow. My Precious!!! Now if we can just get rid of those bad Hobbits...

I encourage you to chuckle this month. Giggling prevents making the whole thing real. The Dream is surrealing. Buy it and you go reeling. Let it go and you go just fine with a smidge of dandy. Full Moon is on the 2nd at 10:15 am PDT. These are elegant days. Enjoy your own being lest you fall into the hopeful daze and profusion of dramadharmakarma. The 4th and 5th bring back ye olde Grand Cross in the Fixed Signs. The Shadow echoes deep and long. Jupiter goes retrograde on the 5th at 6:24 pm PDT as a lovely Fire Grand trine is holding with Jupiter in Sagittarius, Saturn in Leo and the Sun in Aries. Let burn off what is not you. (Note: It's all not you.) You'll never find a more efficient time to cook off the crap. Claim your own consciousness and clear your own karma. I can help with that if you're interested.

Mars enters Pisces on the 6th at 1:51 am PDT. Things are going to get real fishy for this transit, which lasts until May 15th. Trying to make the Dream and your dreams come true will be a nightmare. It's the shadow, Dued. While you think that you're getting your due, the unconscious doo doo comes Wheeling around and smacks you upside the mind. Do you really want to make it real, make it True. It ain't you. It's the shimmer in the house of mirrors. Have fun with it and be. If you believe, you be leaving your being and that'll suck big time in the current amplifications.

On the 11th at 7:15 pm PDT, Venus enters Gemini. Infidels of the heart are apparent, abhorrent and come in torrents. Five of the six Fire/Air Signs have planets in them for a week. Libra is the missing Sign and will light up in folks' charts. It'll be wedded blitz, coming and going. If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you can be with.

New Moon arrives on the 17th at 4:36 am PDT trine to Pluto. Allow transformation. Choose transformation. Drop dependence on transmutation. Change don't mean shit, though it does mean shift, in the long run. Transformation is the falling away of what is not you in the realization of your being. Choose you or you chews new. New is regurgitated old on the Wheel. What you new before is what you knew before. So what. Sow what?!? Be and choose. That's the playful, effortless way of your being.

Saturn goes retrograde on the 19th at 2:26 pm PDT followed by the Sun entering Taurus on the 20th at 4:07 am PDT. You'll get more traction in your life from here on. Again: don't make it real; make choices and you'll make it more fun as you enjoy yourself. Remember it is not about the object of your choice; it's all dream stuff and comes and goes. Choosers are not beggars. You enjoy yourself rather than beg for begetting that your life and identity and beliefs depend upon. Ah la la la. More hammock be praised. Laze your present rather than blaze your future. It's all changing so fast, who the fuck knows what'll happen. Enjoy your self or forever be beholden for your peace.

Earth Day the 22nd brings Venus in Gemini square Mars in Pisces. Women are too smart; men are too lost. Stop thinking and shrinking. Be together. Be first, then together. We are always apart and separate in the Dream which is why Unity and Love and Union are so popular and so failed. You are not the failure the projections of love and union are defaulted in the Dream. Being Together is not the fun. Being is the fun that you can share together. Ho, instead of hoe. Play rather than plow.

Mercury enters Taurus at 12:16 am PDT on the 27th thus ending the lovely Grand Fire Trine effect that we've had for weeks. There's simultaneously a Grand Cross in Mutable Signs for the 26th to the 28th. This is very intense. Shredful. Hopes and dreams show their shadow. They are the supposed icing on your caked karma. But "Someone left the cake out in the rain! It took too long to bake it, and I don't know if I can make it, ... Oh no!" Believing in your promised land McArthur Park will not rescue you. None of it is you. Chuckle with the cosmic joke and let it all melt. You can have your pie and eat it too. Cheery or perhaps Bluesburied or Punkin' with your punkin' ...

Go have fun and enjoy your wonderful self,
Mark

Mark Krueger offers PlanetVisionsUpdate, a weekly e-newsletter update of humor, insight and support regarding the shifting currents of the moment. Also be sure to check out his Weekly Wonders for a "quickie!"

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mark Krueger has been a professional astrologer for over 29 years. He is author of the popular weekly PlanetVisionsUpdate on his website in which he reflects the personal and collective goings on of our times in a unique and funny way. Mark is a seer of karmic patterns and offers a way to clear through the Dilemma. He's a dynamic playful speaker who offers richly rewarding talks and seminars all over the world.

By phone or in person, Mark offers Karmic Astrology Consultations for individuals, couples and families, as well as Karmic Clearing Sessions. Mark travels the world offering Talks:
   * What the Hell Is Going On!
   * Karma and Astrology
   * Beyond The End Daze
   * Beyond Body, Mind and Spirit
and Seminars:
   * Karma, Projection and Suffering
   * Love, Karma and Projection
   * Intention and Manifestation
   * Karma and Relationship
   * Karma and Parenting
   * Signs and Planets of Astrology
   * The Astrology Chart as Karmic Imprint

For more information, call (530) 263-5821 or email Mark directly.