Dear Rev. Sherri,

I have a lot of emotional baggage that I have been carrying around for quite some time now. I just kept choosing the wrong guy and kept getting hurt over and over again. I am now afraid to get into another relationship for fear of more hurt. I have read articles that say that I need to let all that emotional baggage go before I will be able to move on to a real loving relationship. I am not sure though how to go about doing that, I am hoping that you can give me some advise on how to release it.

Thanks,
Becky

Dear Becky,

YOU HAVE ALREADY TAKEN THE FIRST STEP in moving forward; you are aware. This is the hardest step in any change, understanding its need and importance. By being aware of that something needs to change - you are open, you can now allow yourself the freedom to find healthier / more satisfying relationships.

How to release this old baggage is something that is as unique as each person. We come into these challenges through different experiences - some are from childhood and reflect back to the types of relationships we saw with our parents, other times it stems not from our parents but our own dating as teens. One negative experience can truly change how we see ourselves and others thereafter.

I have found that through forgiveness you can bring the greatest relief from the past. Forgiveness can take time for some people - take the time you need and learn to heal you emotionally from previous decisions / choices you made in the past - forgive you as well. This is equally important. As long as you feel you are to blame for “bad” choices or “choosing wrong guys” you will continue to feel responsible. Forgive these actions and understand their role in your life as growth, balance and contrast. Now that you are aware of what you seek, what you truly desire, you are able to move into healthy, strong and stable relationships.

When you connect with potential partners, don’t fear the future outcome, and expect the worst - look for the quality’s that appeal to you - be aware of the ones that don’t. If you meet someone new who is seeking a relationship with you, take time to discern if his beliefs or standards are different than yours, give yourself permission to move on to someone who matches your standards and beliefs if you don’t feel compatible.

Connecting with new people in romantic relationships, we put our hearts out there - trusting and hoping for only the best outcome. There will always be a chance that hurt may arise - this is risk for finding love. However, love itself does not hurt. A broken heart over a lost relationship will be painful, but the experience of love itself should never be hurtful or demeaning.

As you move into this next phase of your journey, open yourself to love, be the love you seek to feel and know. Don’t hold back love in fear of pain, embrace love in all its purity.

Dear Rev. Sherri,

I have a 5 year old grandson that has been seeing Spirits from the time he was two. The first instance began at our home which is wear he sees a man in a white doctors jackets and black pants

I know this is because my grand-daughter (who is 11) and my daughter have seen the same vision on at least one occasion. My grandson sees him quite often and is frightened. He not only sees them here but seems to see them at cemeteries, estate consignment and antique stores. He doesn't seem to be in much of a hurry to leave, which we really don't mind but my question is...

How do we explain this to the 5 year old that he isn't someone to be afraid of? How do we correct this? How can we make him feel more comfortable with his gift? I would sincerely appreciate some advice on these matters.

Thank you,
Cristine

Dear Cristine,

My suggestion is to assist in easing the fears your grandchildren are experiencing is to engage with them - in their visions. You support them, this is perfect and wonderful - but when your grandson sees these energies, he feels that he is alone in this vision - what I feel is for you to open yourself up to "seeing" what he sees - with him. I understand you will not likely see what he sees, as his vision is quite clear in his young age.

Another suggestion may be for the you two (or three) to meditate - a light meditation - together to connect to the source of energy he is visualizing - to communicate together to ease the sense of alone-ness he / and she feel when they see these spiritual forms. I feel this is the greatest challenge your grandchildren are facing right now is that no one else can "see" what they see, therefore it causes some fear and perhaps anxiety about it - what makes them different is perhaps something they are feeling.

Often when an adult is open to what a child see, he / she will ask questions about it - what does it look like, etc. this lets the child know they are "alone" in their vision - so what I felt is that it would be beneficial to "connect" to this energy as well - when one of your grandchildren sees the spirit energy, you can engage as if you are seeing it as well - but you may be feeling your vision more than seeing your vision - so you could engage with knowledge of what you sense but expressing in a seeing context.

If he/she comes up to you and says they see this energy, you can let them know you feel them too - share what feelings you have about this energy - ask questions such as what is he wearing today, what does he want to share with us today or even what his name is. This will open up a stronger connection of being shared and not alone. The more you both learn about this energy, the easier it should be to dispel the fear surrounding it. By the spiritual source having a name and message, it may make them more solid and less fearful for your grandchildren.

To submit a question for Just Ask... or to simply contact Rev. Sherri,
you may visit her website: www.RevSherriBarclift.com
reach her via email at Rev.Sherri@yahoo.com
or by phone at 828-280-5635.

© Rev. Dr. Sherri M. Barclift, 2009

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Rev. Dr. Sherri M. Barclift isan ordained interfaith minister with the Alliance of Divine Love (Chapel 1547), a Doctor of Divinity, Spiritual Counselor, Intuitive, Healer and Teacher.

Rev. Sherri is internationally known for her work and has been featured on The Learning Channel, as well being published in PlanetLightworker, WomenOf.com, Natural Awakenings - Tampa and Asheville - and has held classes and workshops on various spiritual themes in both Florida and North Carolina.

If you would like to submit a question for Just Ask... or if you would like to contact Rev. Sherri, you can visit her website: www.RevSherriBarclift.com, reach her via email at Rev.Sherri@yahoo.com or by phone at 828-280-5635.