WHEN I WAS eleven years old, America celebrated its 200th Birthday. I told myself that I wanted to live to be at least 111 years old so that I could see the tri-centennial celebration. As more and more people live to be over 100, the idea isn’t as far fetched as it was back in the '70’s when I first announced it to my folks. Lately, I keep coming across beautiful dynamic women in their early to mid-fifties that are going through some sort of an age related depression. It’s understood that if you don’t look and feel old by the time you’re fifty, you soon will. Most of us don’t age as beautifully as Sophia Loren and some of the other starlets. If I am to reach the age of 111, then half of my life will be as an old woman. I better make peace with that now.

Please don’t think that I’m saying that looking old means looking bad. There’s a big difference between a beautiful twenty-year- old and a beautiful fifty-year-old. One shows you the beauty of youth. The other shows the beauty of a soul. What I find most interesting is that the women having the most problem with aging are the beautiful ones. Maybe it’s because plain looking women have to make peace with their appearance at a much younger age. Women who have spent a lifetime being beautiful really seem to struggle with the approaching wrinkles and drooping body. What amazes me are these women whom I’ve always thought were in their mid-forties are the ones telling me they’re turning 50 or even 55 and having a meltdown over it. It’s so difficult for me to comfort them when I’m still in shock because they look so young for their age.

I have always loved a game my mother told me about years ago. She said that during the second half of her forties, she started lying about her age. She always added three to five years to her age so that people would tell her how awesome she looked. My mother is one of those women who was always naturally beautiful and then she also made a point of never going out in public looking shabby or frumpy either, so she’s always looked younger then her real age. She could have gotten those same “Wow! You look great!” comments even if she’d told the truth about her age. She told me the other day that at Denny’s Restaurant she’s now considered a Senior Citizen, therefore she won’t ever step foot into one of their restaurants again! I knew she was only joking but I think that’s part of what makes aging bearable for her - the jokes that she comes up with. She has always understood the importance of a good sense of humor to get you through life’s ups and downs.

To some degree we can fight the visual effects of aging with Botox and plastic surgery, but the truth is, we’re going to wrinkle or we’re going to die. We can allow it to naturally take it’s course, or we can fight it tooth and nail. I can really understand why some women choose to fight against aging, especially if one’s sense of self worth is wrapped up in their looks. For some women, their entire sense of personal power comes from being visually appealing to others. That’s not to say they sell themselves, but that there is a power that comes from looking incredibly beautiful. It’s no secret that a beautiful smile can open doors. If you haven’t found a new form of personal power by the time those little lines start showing up, then you would naturally be feeling a loss. I guess the good thing is that you get roughly fifty years to find a least one other really cool thing about yourself to showcase to the world.

I want to tell those of you who are going through this pain to ask loved ones to tell you what other positive traits you have to offer. I want to tell you to ask people that you are connected with to share stories with you of times that you touched their lives or truly inspired or motivated them when it had nothing whatsoever to do with how you looked on the outside. I want to tell you to find something useful and fulfilling to do with your life as you’re also probably retiring soon too. I want to tell you to be kind and gentle to yourself. Perspective changes, and wisdom and tolerance are facts of aging. Wait a bit and you’ll come to see that you were still beautiful at forty, at fifty. Even at sixty you still had that beautiful twinkle in your eyes.

I can promise you that when I’m eighty and looking back at pictures of myself at fifty, I won’t be saying, “Damn, you looked old!” I had a major emotional breakdown over turning thirty. I started melting when I was 27, 28, and 29 because I was about to turn 30. It was one day when I was 33 that I came to realize that I looked better, was happier, healthier, and stronger then I’d ever been in my twenties. My entire life I have thought of myself as plain and pudgy, yet whenever I look at old photographs I always think that I was quite cute and that I wished I knew then what I know now about personal appearances and self-esteem. I have planned out my own special look for when I’m “an old woman.” When I turn fifty, I’m going to dye my long hair bright pink and I’m also going to wear cat-eye sunglasses and bright colorful clothes that embarrass my children. Why? Because it entertains me and makes me giggle. Besides, there’s no valid reason not to. I’m looking forward to spending the second half of my life laughing and playing.

© Skye Thomas, 2005

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow’s Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, soulmates, and parenting. Her books, articles, and astrological forecasts have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. To read more of her articles and to sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net. To download free previews of her books, go to www.SkyeThomas.com.