I WAS ON MY WAY TO GET LUNCH. Working a sheetrock job and only working a few hours a day, I stopped at the local burger place for a cheap lunch. I went inside to order and as I was leaving with my cheeseburger and fry, I turned one way to leave. That direction was blocked by children playing on the rope that keeps the line in order, so I turned and went the other way, a longer route to the door which wound through the customers that were sitting and eating lunch.

As I approached the door, a worker was sweeping up and a woman sitting at the table close to the door made eye contact with me. I looked back and gently smiled at her. She smiled back and began to gather her belongings. I saw a small grocery bag and another bag, her purse.

As she rose from her chair smiling she said, “Yes, I was waiting for you.”

A question must have fallen across my face and I looked deeper into her eyes. A sense that I knew her, yet I was sure I didn’t. Not in this life time anyway.

“No, you don’t know me” she said, as we were now face to face along the wall at the doorway. “You don’t know me, but I have been waiting for you.”

Minds are a funny thing. I have been on the path of a lightworker, an apprentice I should say, for a year now and know that many crystals are on my path and wondered what this one was. I knew it was a crystal, something to remind me of my direction, the way home, peace. I could feel it.

She went on to say that she had experience painting and doing turnkey and that she was a good worker and that she needed work. She has been living under a nearby bridge that covers a creek. Been there for a while.

My, my. What does this mean? What do I do with this? You see I am woman in my late forties. I am a laborer and have been doing this for almost a year again. I found myself in a situation that I created, being dependent on a relationship and allowing my needs, my finances to get drained during this last, ten-year relationship. Heavily in debt and afraid I would wind up on the streets myself, I jumped back into this line of work. I have put a lot of sweat into earning a living, took on care of my Mother who is aging, and created a new life back in the city. Many stressful situations have availed themselves this month and through them I become ungrateful and unworthy some days and wonder if living on the streets may have been a better choice than what I have chosen.

I have chosen to stay clean and sober for another day, to find work and an income to take care of my debts, to take responsibility for my own and my parent’s well being, to reunite with a large extended family and make amends for the lofty past I lived, and to follow the path of a lightworker. This path, this wonderful path has led me to many personal realizations, many moments of pure, unconditional love and a connection to my innerself that has been buried, hidden and at times lost. This connection allowed me to see this woman as something other that a “pan handler”, “beggar” or “lazy”.

She went on to explain her plight. I urged us out of the building were we could speak. She was telling me still that she had been in this line of work before that she was a good worker that she would do anything, clean, paint, and work hard. That she was in this position because she couldn’t get along with her husband and family, that physically, mentally and most of all spiritually she had differences within her family. She introduced herself. Her name is Sarah. That’s my daughter’s name. This truly is a crystal, a light on my path.

I offered her a business card and explained that work was a little slow right now, but I never knew what would come around the corner at me. I told her she could call me on Monday and if anything came along, I would use her. I meant it. We headed to the truck and I gave her the card and a Coca Cola from my cooler. I also gave her a buck to get a burger. She offered me something from her grocery sack for my kindness. I thanked her but told her to keep what she could.

We hugged and she said “God bless you.”

As I drove away from the parking lot, I realized God had blessed me, again, in this moment. Only moments before this, I was surrounded by loneliness. I was filled with despair and a fear that I could not continue without help, that maybe this life was more than I could handle. Love had produced another light on the path, another crystal left for me to find. All things that I encounter are what I make of them. All things. For this child, the one that carries this light inside of me, to recognize the moment and find the love that is waiting to jump on me. What I came away with is this woman could be me. I could have chosen that bridge, that life as my responsibility and I could be waiting for someone kind to look at me and give me a hand. Although I don’t live under a bridge or in my car today, I still look into the eyes of a stranger, waiting for the moment to give a hand, to be kind or to find someone kind to look at me and give me a hand, just like Sarah gave me that day. Life is what I choose it to be. Free choice. It is up to me to live each moment in love, kindness and compassion, and to not give away my power to the moments of fear, despair, and loneliness. Love blesses us all.

“Dignity consists not in possessing honors,
but in the consciousness that we deserve them.”
-Aristotle

© 2003 Teresa Snyder

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Teresa Snyder is a professional painter, Reiki Master/Teacher, a Karuna Ki Master/Teacher and the mother of two wonderful adult children, Sarah Snyder Marchese and Matthew Snyder.