In Love Again

"I'M NO POET. I don't want to study this ****!"

Amidst the moans and groans of the fellow inmates that I was teaching was this comment.

As a teacher's aid at an Arizona prison facility, I was teaching English grammar and literature in preparation for G.E.D. testing.

Finally, it was time for the students to learn about poetry. Sensing the resistance I would probably receive from this "mooch macho" crowd, I decided to dive in with Elizabeth Barrett Browning's classic poem, "How Do I Love Thee?"

We began reading the first lines...

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth
And breadth and height
My soul can reach.

As the depth of those words began to sink in, the mood of the room underwent a profound change.

I asked them questions such as:

• "How would you, in your words, describe what she was feeling as she wrote this to her husband, Robert?"
• "How do you think we can apply this to our lives right here in this harsh prison environment?"

The attitudes softened as the hearts began to open. Soon one of those who had complained the loudest asked, "Can I have a copy to send to my mama?" Others began asking for copies, too, for their loved ones.

This unforgettable day reminded me that once we open our hearts to love, we feel that we have found what we've always searched for, what we've always hoped for, and what we've yearned for in our hearts.

Each of us began with love, and then we learned to fear. Our spiritual journey is about the unlearning, the letting go of fear, and the acceptance of love back into our hearts. It's about going through struggle and suffering, only to end in love again.

From Stones to Gems

AS I WRITE this from a ten-man tent in a prison yard in the Arizona desert, I am reminded that this tent experience is quite similar to the "reality" shows that are popular on TV. The primary difference is that the TV participants have voluntarily chosen to be involved for a short duration and are enticed by a reward at the end.

The tent experience throws different cultures, races, religions, and ages together in close proximity and then monitors them. No privacy is a primary factor. Then when we add the desert heat to the mix, it makes for a "reality show" of its own.

Living under these conditions tends to magnify even the most insignificant incident into a major occurrence.

For example, evaporative coolers are used which are only effective in drier air. As the humidity rises, they lose their ability to cool. The humidity at this time of the year rises, as do the tempers.

An incident just occurred that demonstrates how a minor incident can be blown into a major one. The disagreement came about over whether or not the back door of the tent should be left open. Those advocating an open door policy felt that it helped the circulation of air in the tent. The closed-door advocates believed that an open door would only allow the cooler air to escape. After long, emotional discussions, a compromise was reached and now the door is slightly open.

Someone once said, "When you select your own friends, they usually perpetuate your own delusions." In a community situation like this, though, we're stuck with each other. This is the difficulty and the richness of it.

It's like putting a handful of jagged-edged stones into a gem tumbler and turning on the machine. The tumbling may break and shatter the stones, but after sufficient tumbling, the stones emerge polished and sparkling - free of their rough edges. We have to realize, however, that the stones became precious gems by rubbing up against one another in an intense environment.

As we become more sensitive to subtle vibrations, we see that things which seemed so important don't even matter in the inner world, and that the most significant things are not even noticed in the world of appearances.

Everything is not always as it appears to be. Instead of seeing everything on an external and sometimes superficial level, we need to look beyond the outer manifestations. Everything in our life is a flowing, harmonious, coherent whole. As we go deeper within, we develop the vision to see the truth of that harmony and that wholeness. Until then, many things seem fragmented - unconnected and unrelated to each other.

Ultimately, we see that it's all a play of Consciousness that is transforming us from rough, jagged-edged stones to polished, sparkling gems.

© 2006, Tom Brown

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Charles "Tom" Brown was a successful investor who did very well in real estate, oil, and the stock market. Friends began asking him to invest for them, too. And he did. Things went well, and more people heard about his abilities and wanted to be included in the investment strategies he had devised. All went well until there was a dramatic change in the market. All that went up turned down, and Tom wanted everyone to still have a profit - his big mistake - as he wanted to be well thought of. Tom was accused of defrauding investors. Although it was shown that he had never diverted any money for himself other than a modest commission, through unbelievable mishandling by an incompetent or dishonest attorney, what should have been a one-year sentence became a 17-year sentence. At the time of judgment, Tom was 62 years of age.

The purpose of Tom's blog is not to dwell on the injustice, but rather, to show the incredible unfoldment of consciousness in a man who has taken this sentence and created a workshop of Soul and Spirit out of it. His words are designed to help us see into life and do better with what we've been given. Tom's Beyond the Wall blog is located at www.Beyondthewall.blogs.com.  If you would like to write to Tom, he appreciates correspondence.  He does not have access to a computer but can be reached via Charles "Tom" Brown, # 140237, ASPC - Lewis, Barchey Blue - D2 - E5, P.O.Box 3200, Buckeye, AZ, 85326.